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Chapter Fifteen

Ashton

S taring back at me is someone I don’t recognize. Hair a mess, black paint smeared all over, bruises and bite marks covering my neck and shoulders. Red rims sky-blue eyes. The Ash that stares back at me doesn’t know what's up from down right now.

I can’t believe I let myself fall under his spell again, gave up something I have been hanging onto for twenty-three years.

It’s not necessarily the virginity I was trying to keep sacred, but the piece of me that was meant for someone else, someone that doesn’t exist anymore.

It only took losing that someone to realize it, so I held on tight to what was his. .. until last night.

I try shaking off the new wave of sobs that are threatening to make an appearance and step into the shower to scrub the mistakes away.

My hand trails down my chest and the center of my abdomen and I can’t help but think of how it all felt last night.

It was intoxicating. It didn’t feel wrong at all in that moment, I just hate how it feels right now.

My sex stings as the water hits it, flash backs of Khaos shoving himself inside of me hit sudden and hard. A soft whimper leaves me, reminding me of how weak he’s made me.

“Wait, wait.”

“I’ve waited long enough, Ash.” His voice strains with desire.

His naked pelvis grinds against mine, his cock slipping through my slit with ease, the tip hitting my sensitive clit. As I groan, his palm finds my breast, pinching my nipple until I’m screaming in pain.

He pumps his hips, continuing to rub himself against my pussy, his pace quickening with my cries. I can feel my legs shaking, a violent storm brewing, desperate to flood an entire town. His lips swallow every whimper, his tongue invading my mouth like a demon possessing a soul.

“Tell me you want this.” He breathes between kisses. “I need you to want this.”

And that’s my undoing.

I concede, nodding my head, my belly filling with a swarm of uncertainty.

Before I can even think twice, a burning pain spears through me. He’s not gentle, he doesn’t tell me how much he loves me and that I’m the only one for him. He just shoves, breaking through a barrier he doesn’t know exists.

His dick tears into me inch by inch as he moans, “I’ve waited so long for this.”

I barely pay any attention because I'm too focused on being stuffed full, the ache uncomfortable. His body shakes, a shiver rolling through him as he finally reaches the hilt, pausing to devour my mouth. I let him distract me, his thumbs roughly wiping the tears from my cheeks.

“I hate you.” I whisper on a breath, wishing it’s true.

He pulls his head back, his cock still nestled deep inside of me. Though the darkness in this room is blinding, I know he’s staring at me.

“Tell yourself that all you want, but the way your pussy is holding onto me for dear life, I’d beg to differ.” He chuckles, deep vibrations bleeding into me.

He starts to thrust his hips, his pace picking up.

I can’t help the cry that flies from my lips, the movement too much, too overwhelming.

The pads of his fingers find their way between us, forcing pleasure to consume me as he circles my clit.

When my cries turn into moans, he bucks violently, enough to break every bone in my body.

“Do you hear that, Eris?” He asks as his dick plunges back into me, eliciting a loud sound of wetness. “That’s the sound of your lies.”

My memory begins to flood my brain, threatening to drown me.

The pictures are blurry, but the feeling is just as intense as it was last night.

I take my sweet time, pulling myself together before I make it out to the living room where the guys wait.

They don’t say anything, sullen looks etched on their faces.

“What?” I ask, crossing my arms.

“So, a virgin, huh?” Hypnos asks.

My eyes widen and the door to the suite opens, Khaos walking through with the Plan B in his hands. He tosses it at me, and I let it fall to the ground, my face flushing with embarrassment.

“You told them?” I choke out.

“It was bound to come out sooner or later, especially if you are pregnant.” He justifies.

Rage bubbles up inside of me, spilling over. I charge at him, shoving him with all the force I can conjure up. “You told them I was a virgin!”

He grips my wrists, spinning me around and holding my back against his chest. “So what? Take your little pill and get over it.”

He shoves me away from him and I stumble forward. Than jumping up to catch me from falling. He pulls me into him as I fight more tears, this jerk doesn’t deserve them.

“Jesus, man. Have a little respect.” He shakes his head at Khaos.

“You know what?” I pick the box up, slamming it into his chest. “I think I’ll pass on these. You can deal with whatever consequences come your way.”

“That’s so stupid, you do realize that my consequences will be your consequences, right?” He reasons.

“I can live with that.” I lie, grabbing my bags and storming out the door.

I needed space away from all of them, even if it means being stuck back on the bus longer than I want to. Khaos causes me to make all the wrong choices and as I sit here in silence, I realize that he is right. I am being stupid. Ever since I joined this tour, I’ve been stupid.

Well, how’s that for risks, Blane?

I just hope he brings the box back with him.

With my mind still reeling, I decide it’s not the best idea to pump out another piece for the blog, especially the way I’m feeling about the lead singer.

It’s best that I don’t throw my personal life and career away in one day, so I FaceTime Sam instead.

I need a friendly face to calm all my nerves.

I don’t have the courage to tell her anything that happened last night, seeing as she would only be disappointed with me, but it feels good to talk to her. We catch up for an hour before the guys start trickling back onto the bus.

Khaos is the last to enter and all I want to do is ask for the Plan B, but a part of me is too angry to even bring myself to speak to him.

I flush every braincell I can find just to hang onto any shred of hope that this war between us isn’t over because I intend to win.

Last night was a one off, drugs and all, so I can confidently say it doesn’t count.

It was a mistake. Now I just need to pick myself back up, brush off my knees, and keep on fighting.

He’ll be the first to fold since he has more to lose, so I’ll count down the minutes until he does.