Page 31

Chapter Seventeen

B efore I can get up to leave, a rough fist strangles my thin shirt, tugging me back down onto the pew. Worship was over, the nave emptied now only leaving me, Bordeaux, and Father .

He glides over to me as if floating on a cloud of self-righteousness, his red cloak unmoving at his feet. With those black, beady eyes he inspects me from head to toe, assessing my sins. Only the sins here are very different from those out in the real world.

With a boney finger, he caresses my face, pressing gently against the ripe bruises.

I am the problem child, the non-believer, the only one that sees that this is a CULT, but no one seems to understand that.

They are all here willingly, as if the name doesn’t give it away.

Who willingly follows the Church of Satan?

I flinch away from his touch, wishing I could just go home. I want to be with my real family, my own mother, my own father, but I haven’t seen them in a very long time. I’m almost certain they’ve given up on me .

“Sit my son, let’s talk.” He gestures for me to sit, but it’s not like I have a choice because Bordeaux shoves me down anyway.

My ass plops down on hard wood, aching from the contact and Father invites himself to sit next to me. I try very hard now a days not to let him get a rise out of me, though sometimes it's difficult.

“Did you learn anything from today’s sermon?” He asks.

“We’re all human.” I answer monotonously.

I’ve learned that it’s best just to give him what he wants otherwise his ginormous pet pig, also known as Bordeaux, will make sure I regret my decision.

He nods. “Yes. Good. That is all Satan wants you to know, that we are human. What we want is natural and it’s okay to act on your instincts. It’s why you have them.”

I glare at him with a hate more powerful than a nuclear weapon, one that I want to shove down his throat and watch as it explodes, liquifying his body to the point where he’s just red slush.

“I saw you with May yesterday. The way you looked at her.” He gets to the point.

I sigh. May is probably my only friend here, if you can even call her that.

Her parents are devoted Satanists and have worshiped here for almost her whole life.

Despite that, she seems relatively normal, so from time to time we hang out together.

Mostly when I’m not holed up in the basement cellar repenting for my lack of devotion.

My muscles tense when Father nods his head at someone by the entryway. I turn my gaze to follow his and in walks just the girl he’s talking about.

She looks nervous, twirling her long, blonde hair that’s tied back in a ponytail. She’s wearing a simple white dress and looks as innocent as ever. Her eyes catch mine, but I look away knowing this can’t be good .

“May! My darling daughter. Come.” He pats his thigh, and she obeys.

I cringe when she plants herself on his lap, the sight disturbing.

“You’re of age now, am I right?” He asks.

She nods, “Fourteen.”

“Well, we need to start getting you prepared then, and I know just the boy to help.” The devilish smile he aims at me churns my stomach.

He climbs to his feet, waving at Bordeaux to follow him.

“You know what you have to do.” He waggles a finger at her.

She nods, smiling at him as they disappear out the door leaving the two of us behind.

“What is he talking about? Prepare for what?” I question.

May sits down next to me, our knees touching. She wipes the palms of her hands along her dress, avoiding eye contact.

“When a girl turns eighteen, she must be ready. In the church, the most honorable thing for a woman is to carry Father’s child. He only selects a few each year, but there are certain things he likes, and those things take practice.” She explains, her fingers twisting together.

A stampede of rage tramples a hole through my chest, my brain struggling to digest her words. “What the fuck?” I push to my feet, my fists clenched as if I held the strength to demolish this place with my bare hands. “We need to leave. May, we need to get you out of here! That’s not okay!”

She jumps to her feet, her eyes widened with panic. Small fingers grip my skinny arms. “Stop! Don’t freak out. It’s okay. It’s something I’ve prepared for my whole life. It’s my destiny to do this.”

I shake my head, trying to find the light inside her brainwashed eyes. “It’s not right. None of this is right!”

“Look,” she starts, pushing me back down onto the pew. “You heard Father’s lecture today. We’re all human with natural instincts. This is just one of those things. Forget everything else, it’s just us now.”

“May?” I want to shake her, to smack some sense into her because this is anything but normal.

“Please, I need you to do this with me.” Her eyes shine with unshed tears. “I don’t think you understand how badly I need this.” Then she whispers, “My life depends on this.”

Of course it does.

Any order that goes ignored is met with severe punishment. Especially a direct order from Father . I would know. Only this is one of those times that I’m not the only one that will suffer for my disobedience.

There’s a sense of fear that’s taken hold of May at the thought that I don’t want to do this.

I mean, why would I? When something like this is forced, it takes the pleasure right out of it.

I should be taking her to see a movie, sharing popcorn, and kissing her at the end of the night.

Not denying her in an empty church because she’s following an order.

“Please.” She lets the tears fall, her eyes begging.

“I don’t-” I expel a deep sigh. “I don’t have a condom.”

“It’s okay, I do. Plus, all girls are on birth control until they’re chosen.” There’s relief in her voice, her hope causing my intestines to twist.

My throat is so dry it's like swallowing shards of glass. As a teenage boy, you’d think I would be thrilled to have a girl like May beg me for sex, but no part of me is excited.

Ever since I lost my virginity a year ago, I haven’t thought about it once.

The very memory making me nauseous and the fact that she actually wants this, for him no less, makes this so much worse.

Her lips tug in a small, reassuring smile as I give her a slight nod .

She rubs my shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll teach you everything they’ve taught me.”