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I opened my fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs and a package of bacon. I fired up a pan, and soon my kitchen was filled with their savory scent combined with freshly roasted coffee beans. I brought my plate of food and mug of coffee to the large, ten-person dining room table in the large room next to the kitchen.
Putting my food down, I then sat at the head of the table and began eating. I looked around my large penthouse and listened to the silence that surrounded me. In that moment, I realized just how alone I was. And just how much I wished Heart was here, and how much I wished the room was filled with her laughter and the squeals from our baby.
I really thought maybe our life would end up here. Toys on the floor, bottles on the counter, diaper baskets. Figuring out how to do a new life together as we brought up a new life. I should have told her sooner. I should have told her that night at the charity event. Instead, we let our emotions get the best of us and it led to what we always did. Being tangled up in one another.
It was the first time in my life that I wished we would have talked rather than had sex. That was saying something. Now there were too many words left unsaid and too many realized dreams that had shattered.
My phone buzzed on the table in front of me. I picked it up quickly, hoping it might be Heart, but knowing deep down it wasn’t.
No. It was Brody:
Has my brother reentered his body?
Me:Not yet. I’m not coming in today. Can you handle it?
I watched the three dots bounce on the screen and waited for the angry response to follow, but it didn’t. He didn’t say anything.
I took the day off and spent most of it on the couch or in bed. It was very out of character for me, as someone who had never even taken a personal day. I just couldn’t focus on work or business deals. All of that seemed so flippant in the grand scheme of things.
I went back to work the next morning, and barely spoke to anyone. I didn’t see Brody all day, which was what I preferred. Margaret seemed to be wary around me, like I might flip a switch at any second. I was glad they avoided me. I just wanted to go through the motions at my desk alone.
For weeks, I carried on like that. I knew I was being an asshole. Even in meetings with potential clients, I didn’t have my usual charisma. I passed them on to Brody, who took them without question. He probably knew I would just screw them up.
One afternoon, after another big meeting with the London representative, Brody came by my office. He knocked and entered at the same time, as he normally did. I never understood what the point of him knocking was.
I looked up from my papers and gave him a nod. He closed the door behind him and sat across from me in one of the armchairs. He watched me silently for a moment, which was irritatingly uncomfortable.
“Yes?” I asked finally.
“We need to talk,” he said.
I sighed and sat back in my chair. “What is it, Brody?”
“I don’t know what is going on with you, but things can’t keep carrying on like this. People are wondering where you are. You’re the head of the company for God’s sake, Daniel. You can’t just keep hiding away in your office and having me run your meetings. People are starting to ask questions.”
“No, they’re not,” I said.
“Yes, they are. It’s a miracle the London deal finalized today after I had to win their trust over the past few weeks. No one likes being passed around like an appetizer. They were wary to continue.”
“But you did it, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Yes, I did. No thanks to you.”
“Then I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is you are the CEO of this company. I thought we were a team. I can’t keep running my position when I’m doing yours too.”
I stayed silent. I knew he was right. I just couldn’t snap out of this stupid funk.
“I’m worried about you,” said Brody seriously.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You’re not. But I think I know what will help.”
“What’s that?” I asked curiously.
“Getting away from New York. I don’t mind taking over for a little bit longer if it means you going on a trip, feeling refreshed, and getting your head back in the game.”