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The doctor carefully cradled our baby girl as she brought her over to Heart and placed her gently on her chest. I came and stood next to Heart and the baby, running my fingers through Heart’s damp hair.
“Dad, would you like to do the honors?” asked the doctor, holding up a pair of scissors. I swallowed hard, knowing what was coming next. I felt like a bundle of nerves as I shakily took the scissors from her.
“Just cut right here,” she instructed reassuringly, pointing to the umbilical cord.
I did as she said, holding my breath the entire time.
“Good job,” she said.
Then Heart and I cried softly together as we took in our baby girl. She was absolutely beautiful. So tiny. I tried to push my concerns over her size out of my head and just enjoy her first few moments in our world.
After several minutes, the doctor broke the magical spell we were under.
“Daniel, if it’s okay with Addison, why don’t you hold her and assist me in weighing and measuring the baby?”
Heart gave me a nod and carefully held up the baby for me to take. If I thought cutting the umbilical cord was scary, this was next level. I carefully wrapped my hands around the baby’s head and body, bringing her to my chest. She was so light. It was so unreal. I breathed her in as I followed the doctor to a nearby table.
She swiftly took the baby’s measurements and weight.
“Four pounds, five ounces. Sixteen inches,” said the doctor as the nurse jotted it down.
“Now, I need to get her to the NICU. From the looks of everything, she’s perfectly fine, but given her age and size, we need to keep her there for monitoring to make sure she’s healthy. Don’t worry. These are standard procedures for any preemie,” assured the doctor.
“When can we see her again?” asked Heart frantically.
“Why don’t you rest up a little bit while we will get her settled? Then you can come visit her. You can visit her anytime. I promise,” said the doctor, looking from Heart to me.
“Okay,” Heart whispered in disappointment.
I handed our baby carefully to the doctor, who placed her gently into a little bed on wheels. They wheeled our baby out of the room, leaving Heart and me alone with what felt like a hole in my heart.
“She’ll be okay, right?” asked Heart, looking at me teary-eyed.
“Of course. She’s strong, just like her mama,” I said, walking to her.
“We don’t even have a name for her,” laughed Heart softly.
I grabbed a chair and pulled it up beside her. “Well, let’s think of one,” I said, sitting down.
We went through a list of names, me vetoing some and Heart vetoing several others.
“This is something we should have talked about before,” she said, shaking her head.
I knew she was right. There was so much we should have done and talked about before this enormous moment in our lives, but we couldn’t dwell on that now. I was just happy we were together.
I kissed her knuckles softly.
“Let’s not think about that now,” I whispered. “I love you. I’m here. We are figuring it all out now. Just know, I’m not going anywhere.”
She reached her hand up to my face and caressed my cheek. The love I had for her swelled in my heart.
A thought came to me. “What about Bridgette?” I offered.
Heart rolled the name off her tongue as if she was trying it out.
“It was my grandmother’s name,” I added.
She thought for a moment. “I love it,” she said.