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“Well, I could…
“No, you’re not going back in there. You’re not doing anything. Haven’t you done enough?” I asked, my eyes snapping open and really focusing on his face for the first time today.
That was a mistake. The sincerity I saw in those blue eyes was almost enough to make me forget the entire mess of my life and let him save me. But life didn’t work like that.Ididn’t work like that.
“I know things look bad right now, but we’ll figure something out.”
There he went with the “we” again.
“You mean,I’llhave to figure something out.”
“No. I’m here. I’m in this. I haven’t left yet. That’s what people do when things get hard, they leave. Hell, I’ve been that person. I’ve never gotten close to anyone because I was afraid of thehard.Of the messy. Of the complicated. But I’m here. And things are pretty damn hard, aren’t they?”
His words dug into me like nails, and as much as I wanted to reject them, I let them leave their impressions on me. It was the first time he had really ever opened up about anything. But it was too little, too late.
“Why?” I whispered.
“Why what?”
“Why are you still here?”
“Because of you. Because of the baby. Because it’s the right thing to do.”
I thought of the baby. Of what a messy life he or she had already found themselves in and they weren’t even earthside. It made my heart break.
Of all the things I wished I could go back and change, I ultimately knew that changing anything would mean I wouldn’t have this baby inside me. The baby that had changed my life with a single heartbeat and convinced me that I was ready to be a mom, despite everything. A good mom.
Nothing with Daniel had been easy up until this point, and I would hate to have the baby brought up in a world that was so unsteady. I couldn’t let that happen.
I took a deep breath before delivering the words that I knew would change us forever. A lie that felt like poison leaving my mouth.
“There is no baby, Daniel,” I said.
He gave me a double-take as his mouth fell open.
“I think it’s best we never see each other again.”
I turned and walked back toward my building. A single tear fell down my cheek. I quickly opened the doors and entered the elevator, hoping he wasn’t following me. I looked out the window and saw he hadn’t. His back was toward me and his head was hung low. It was the last image I saw before my tears blurred my vision and the doors closed.
Chapter 34
Daniel
Heart left me speechless on the sidewalk. I felt like I might cry or throw up or punch something. After everything we had been through over the past few months, I was ready to be together. I was ready to be a father. Well, almost. Was anyone really ready to become a parent? Ready or not, I wanted to be a part of that baby’s life. I wanted to be a part of Heart’s.
Now I was left with nothing on the sidewalks of Manhattan. I felt like everything I had fought for was ripped away from me in seconds. I felt empty.
Not only had I lost Heart, but we had lost the baby too. I tried to grasp at what could have possibly happened in the course of a few days. I couldn’t imagine Heart having an abortion without telling me, no matter how angry she was about the miscommunication a few nights ago. I also couldn’t bring myself to imagine her having a miscarriage and going through that pain and loss all by herself.
Both possibilities broke my heart. She had been alone for both. I should have been there holding her hand.
I felt tears burn at the back of my eyes. A feeling I hadn’t felt since I was a child. I blinked quickly to prevent them from falling.
“Sir?” a voice said.
I looked up and through watery eyes saw Armand standing there.
“Let’s get you in the car,” he said, putting his hand on my back and guiding me into the backseat.