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Chapter 49
Addison
When the cab dropped me off at a subway station a few blocks away, I walked down the stairs, still shaking from seeing Daniel at the doctor’s office. I couldn’t afford a cab ride back to Brooklyn, but it was the quickest getaway I could find to escape him. Part of me wanted to stay. To hear all the excuses he would muster up and the sweet words he was so smooth at delivering.
But the other part of me doubted everything, and it caused me to flee. I had heard him say he never wanted to be a father with such confidence, and while he had an excuse to say it, it sounded all too convincing. And then there was Kiera. I had seen the photos. I had read the tabloids. I had done a deep dive into their relationship when I was suffering from pregnancy insomnia the other night. It was stupid, really. I supposed I just wanted to torture myself more.
She had been his only real relationship in recent years, and that said something right there. There must have been something special about her for him to commit to her for those couple of years. I looked through all the press photos. All the paparazzi photos. She looked like a damn supermodel in every single one, even the caught off guard ones. And he looked like a GQ model right next to her. They looked perfect together. It was no wonder the public was rooting for them.
I realized as I scrolled through the photos that I would never fit into his world. As if I didn’t know before. What I realized even more was that a baby would never fit into his world. It was a harsh realization to have at three in the morning when the baby was doing somersaults in my stomach.
Then to see him today, looking every bit his best self in a custom suit that hugged him just right and those damn icy blue eyes boring into me as he realized I had lied straight to his face. It was too much. I started to cry right there on the subway steps, people busily passing by me and too concerned with their next destination to care about the crying pregnant woman.
I didn’t care. I didn’t want anyone to notice me as I grieved all that could have been with the man I had once again left on the sidewalk. The driver had looked concerned in the rearview mirror, which was all I could look at as Daniel ran after the cab, his hand against the window. I felt bad for leaving him in such a state of desperation, but I had to.
I thought about his muffled voice through the window, yelling my name. The name that I only ever let people close to me call me. He had once been that person, but now the word “Heart” sounded so sad on his tongue. It made me cry even more.
The stairs were getting more crowded as people walked up and down them, bumping into me as they went. I had to get moving. I wiped my tears away and took a step down toward the platform. Suddenly I felt unsteady on my feet. I reached for the railing to steady myself. The stairs in front of me looked as though they were warped, moving in and out. People moved in swift blurs around me.
I gripped the railing tightly and blinked a few times, trying to get my focus back, but it was no use. My legs felt weak underneath me, as if I had been sitting on them for hours and now they had fallen asleep. I let out a little gasp as I slid to the floor.
People were starting to notice me now. I wasn’t just some emotional pregnant woman. I was in trouble. I felt dizzy and out of breath.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” asked a man in a business suit, crouching down next to me.
“I-I don’t know,” I stammered, still gripping the railing as if it were the only thing holding me here on this planet.
“Can we get some help over here?” he yelled over his shoulder.
I didn’t want to make a scene.
“Oh, that’s not necessary,” I said, trying to get to my feet and failing.
“You stay right there,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“I need some help,” he called again.
A woman came down and crouched next to him, looking at me worriedly. She looked like she was a server at the nearby 50s themed diner. This must have looked like quite a scene to everyone around us. Like something out of a movie.
“How far along are you, honey?” she asked.
“Seven months,” I said.
“Are you having contractions?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I just feel…”
I then keeled over and threw up right between the two of them. They both quickly jumped away before looking at each other worriedly.
“We’re going to get you to a hospital,” said the woman. “Help me lift her.”
The man and the woman wrapped their hands under my arms and hoisted me to my feet, guiding my arms around their shoulders. We walked up the few steps back to the sidewalk, and the man quickly hailed a cab. They both helped me inside, the woman following in behind me. The man checked his watch and looked slightly perplexed.
“I can take her from here,” said the woman assuredly.
He nodded and gave a little wave as she closed the door behind her.
“Please take us to the nearest hospital,” said the woman urgently.