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I leaned in and kissed her.
Chapter 57
Addison
“What do you want for breakfast?” asked Daniel, as he perused the small hospital menu in his hands.
“I feel like I could eat the entire cafeteria,” I answered sleepily.
My stomach grumbled loudly in agreement and I placed my hand on it to quiet it. The bump that was there twenty-four hours ago had deflated like a balloon and left me feeling empty. Although Bridgette was here, she had to spend tonight and many more nights in the NICU. It was a hard idea to grapple with and I missed her so much, even though she wasn’t far and I had already visited her several times.
I must have looked sad, because Daniel stood from his chair and walked over to me. I scooched over and made some room for him on the small hospital bed. He slowly lowered himself next to me. He was in his navy flannel pajama pants and Mets shirt from the night before from when he slept on the small couch against the window of the hospital room.
“You okay?” he asked, wrapping his arm around me.
“I just miss her,” I said softly.
“Me too,” he said.
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I know. Well, she’s tied with you.”
I nudged him playfully and laid my head on his chest.
“I just keep thinking I did everything wrong. She needed a few more weeks to grow and…”
I felt my throat closing up as the tears started forming in my eyes. Ever since Bridgette was born I had been playing the blame game with myself about all of the things I could have done differently to not have us in this situation. Last night, it kept me up for hours as Daniel slept soundly just a few feet away.
“Hey now,” said Daniel, stroking my cheek gently. “This wasn’t your fault. She was just excited to meet us.”
I laughed softly. He had been so comforting this entire time, from my water breaking at my apartment to the car ride here with Armand, to the delivery of our beautiful baby girl. As strong as I thought I was, I didn’t know if I could actually do any of this without him. Not now that I could feel the solidness of his body next to mine or the calmness in his voice as he soothed all of my fretful thoughts.
“You’re really something, you know that?” I asked as I looked up at him.
“You’rethe one who just had a baby. You’re practically Wonder Woman. Now, let’s get some breakfast in you.”
He read off the breakfast items from the menu and I chose scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, and pancakes with extra syrup. Daniel chose the same and called down to the cafeteria to place the order. I watched him sit at the edge of the bed so serious as he held the phone, like he was taking a business call rather than ordering eggs. I laughed softly to myself and my heart wrapped around him like a warm hug.
Last night he had ordered two gigantic subs from my favorite Italian deli and had them delivered to the hospital, along with a mini bottle of sparkling cider to celebrate. The cold cuts I had been missing through pregnancy tasted so good and the sparkling cider was close enough to champagne that it made me think I was actually tipsy. I wasn’t comfortable yet celebrating with real champagne, since I was breastfeeding and I was overly cautious since Bridgette was so small. We ate our dinner while we watched a marathon ofFriends.
It felt like we were having a date night in, which was something we had never done, and I loved every second of it. Laughing and stuffing our faces with spicy pepper sandwiches and greasy potato chips. It felt like we hadn’t lost any time at all. It felt like we had known each other for years. Last night was the most reassuring thing I had felt our entire relationship.
Having Bridgette. Going through all of that had brought us closer. Not once during the delivery did Daniel waver. He stood by my side with not one shake in his body or squeamish look on his face. He held my hand as he coached me through the most exhaustingly rewarding moments of my life. Our lives. He listened to the doctor and did as she said without any hesitation. I had no doubt in my mind that he was ready to be a father now.
We hadn’t talked much about us yet, or where we were going to go from here. I wanted to, but we had to take it one thing at a time.
Our breakfast arrived twenty minutes later and I shoveled the food in my mouth hungrily and impatiently. I wanted to go up and visit Bridgette as soon as possible.
“Wow, you were hungry,” said Daniel, eyeing my empty plate as he took probably his second bite of eggs.
“I want to go see Bridgette.”
He stood up and took the tray from my lap. “Of course you do,” he said, placing the empty tray on a nearby table.
He helped me out of bed and into my fuzzy hospital slippers. He went to put his on, but I stopped him, knowing he had a full plate of food to eat.
“Stay,” I said. “Finish your breakfast.”