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Chapter 11
Addison
My eyes felt heavy as I tried to pry them open. I could feel the morning light warm against my face and wasn’t sure if I was ready to welcome it in yet. My head pounded dully. The consequence of too much expensive champagne on an empty stomach.
My eyes adjusted to the morning that felt like it was cruelly laughing at my hangover. I saw Daniel sleeping next to me and sucked in a breath. So, this happened. It wasn’t a dream. I watched him sleep for a moment. He looked so peaceful. His breath was slow and steady, his eyelids fluttering in a dreamlike state.
My eyes wandered down his bare chest to the silky, white sheet tucked around him just at the V of his lower abdomen. Holy shit, he was hot. The urge to wake him up and go again bloomed inside of me. I reluctantly rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling instead.
I replayed our night, bits and pieces vibrant in my mind. Others somewhat blurry. Like the pizza. I wonder what happened to the delivery guy. Poor guy was probably scared off by the noises coming from the other side of the door. I didn’t blame him. The screams I let out were primal. I barely recognized the sounds coming from my mouth.
Besides the blurry bits, like how many times we had sex last night, there were images that replayed in high contrast. Daniel’s large hands grabbing me. Everywhere. His fingertips pressing into my skin and entering places that had been neglected by a man for far too long. His mouth on my neck. His tongue on my breasts. His teeth on my earlobe. The way he entered me. His slow, steady thrusts becoming frantic and swift. How he filled me, his body shuddering around me with pleasure.
As I lay there next to the most beautiful man I had ever seen in the wake of him ravaging me, I could feel my insides pulsing for more. I went to reach for him, but my brain took over. This was a bad idea. Last night was a bad idea. I had to nip this now before getting in too deep.
Did Daniel even get deep? He was honest about his reputation last night. I was just another woman he could add to his list. While it wasn’t the best feeling, I was the one who wanted this. I got swept up in the moment. It was stupid, but also probably the best night of my life. And it was over now. Back to reality.
I pulled the cool sheets from my body, noting that I would never have anything this nice on my skin again. I carefully pushed myself from the bed, so as not to wake him. The last thing I needed was the awkward morning after thing. That, or falling into the oceans he had for eyes and feeling my heart break knowing I was just another girl on his roster. Nothing more. Either would be too much to bear.
I searched the floor for my dress or my shoes, but found nothing. I remembered we didn’t start here in the bedroom. We ended here. Where this all began was at the bar. I tiptoed out of his bedroom, feeling suddenly aware of how naked I was. In the living room, I spotted my dress and strappy shoes in a pile on the floor. I shimmied the dress on and slid on my heels, tying the straps at my ankle. My underwear. I needed those.
I found them hanging like an ornament on the wine fridge just underneath the bar. I held the counter as I slipped them on, careful not to snag the lace on my heels. This was a ridiculous outfit to go home in at 7 a.m. If this didn’t screamwalk of shame, I didn’t know what did.
I grabbed my purse from the entryway table and pressed the button for the elevator, then looked back one more time, a feeling of slight sadness washing over me. I didn’t feel regret for what happened. No, I felt regret that it wouldn’t happen again. Daniel was like a drug, and I had to stop before I was addicted.
Taking a deep breath, I gave myself a nod of mustered certainty and stepped into the elevator. I pressed the button for the lobby and closed my eyes as I began the descent. Soon, the elevator doors opened and I stepped into a grand lobby. Quickly, I strode through it, theclick-clackof my heels echoing against the marble floors. I pushed the large glass doors open to the street and hurriedly hailed a cab. I hardly ever took cabs, especially all the way to Brooklyn, but there was no way in hell I was stepping onto the subway looking like this.
As I slid into the backseat, I could feel the driver’s eyes on me. I avoided his amused expression and gave him my address. As I stared out the window and watched the buildings change when we crossed the bridge into Brooklyn, I couldn’t feel further from Daniel than I did now.
I wondered what he would think when he woke up. I wondered if he would even think of me at all.
Back home, I practically ran up the stairs of my apartment, nearly breaking an ankle. The last thing I needed was Elma catching me in last night’s dress. In the safety and privacy of my apartment, I kicked off my shoes and removed my dress. I kind of felt like Cinderella coming home from the ball, except she didn’t get laid and there was no Prince Charming.
I had an hour before I had to be at work. I looked at my bed longingly and considered calling in sick, but decided against it. I wasn’t going to let Daniel Jacobs derail my life, even just for a day. I hopped in the shower, and washed his touch and kisses away. The water circled the drain, as if it were our nonexistent relationship.
Out of the shower, I quickly dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a white button-down. This was me. No more suffocating skirts or strapless dresses. I had no one to impress, and felt foolish for even trying to impress Daniel in his custom suits and shiny shoes. What a fool I had been.
I put on a pot of coffee and poured it into a thermos before making my way to the subway station. As I rode the 8:40 train back into the city, I desperately tried to block memories of last night from popping into my brain like little bubbles.Pop. Pop. Pop.It was really no use.
I made it to the office at 9 a.m. on the dot.
“Addison, can you come in here?” I heard Brian call as I walked past his door.
For a moment I felt scared he knew what happened, but I shook it off. I was just being paranoid.
“Yes, Brian?” I said as I stepped inside his office.
“I wanted to see where we were on signing papers with Mr. Jacobs.”
“He was having the papers drawn up to sign this week.”
“Well, can you check in with him?”
That was the last thing I wanted to do.
“Uh, sure. I’ll get right on that.”
“Good.” Brian nodded and went back to typing on his computer.