Page 47

“Hmm,” she murmured.
“Is that a good ‘hmm’ or a bad ‘hmm?’”
“It’s just a hmm.”
I could see her mouth lift into a smile as she turned and looked out the window again. My eyes traveled from her face to the buttons of her blouse, which were pulled taught against her breasts. They stayed there for a while as I wondered if they had gotten bigger since our night together. I read that was the first sign of possibly being pregnant. I hoped I could find out. Probably not any time soon, but her accepting to ride with me was a step in the direction I wanted to go.
Chapter 17
Addison
I took a sip of the lukewarm tea, hoping it would calm the incessant jitters in my stomach. I didn’t have morning sickness yet, but I wondered if this was what it felt like. A mixture of nausea and anxiety.
As cold as I tried to come off because I knew that Daniel deserved it, my heart was playing tug-of-war with my head. I wanted to be angry at him, and I was, but I also felt my resolve weakening. I wouldn’t be able to stay angry for long. Why did he have to be so damn charming?
I knew I should have walked away when he surprised me outside of my apartment, and I almost did, but the sound of his voice when he asked if I had names picked out for the baby stopped me right in my tracks. He was either a really good actor, or he actually cared.
I mean, the guy showed up with herbal tea. And he’d been Googling about pregnancy? It didn’t sound like something he would do if he was trying to buy my silence. But still, I kept my guard up, or at least tried to.
Now I was in a closed space with him and the walls of the car seemed to be closing in, making my urge to be closer to him even greater. It didn’t help that his cologne smelled so damn good or that he wore the same suit I had taken off him during our night together. I wondered if he had strategically worn it. Smart move.
I continued staring out the window as we weaved our way through the traffic of Manhattan. I was surprised how quickly we had gotten to the city. I knew we would be at my office soon, and I was already dreading saying goodbye. I didn’t know when I would see him again, or if I even wanted to. Or if he even wanted to see me again. Maybe this was just his way of trying to be decent by apologizing before wiping his hands clean of me.
As we turned down the street of Leading to Learn, my heart began fluttering in my chest in a panic. Maybe this was the last time I would see him and I had just completely blown it on the hour-long car ride here. It was funny how the heart worked. Here I was supposed to be upset with him, and now I was upset with myself for ruining a chance I didn’t even think I had.
The car came to a stop at the curb. I finally turned to him and saw his eyes were already intently on me. Had he been looking at me for long? I cleared my throat nervously.
“Well, this is me,” I said, looking up at the building, as if he hadn’t told his driver to come here.
“Right,” he nodded.
We sat there awkwardly for a few seconds before I reached for the door, but it was already opening. His driver smiled down at me and waited for me to get out.
“Thank you,” I said to Daniel softly.
He didn’t say anything, but his eyes were on mine.
More than anything, I wanted to reach over and grab his hand or hug him or touch him in any way, but instead I slid out of the car and walked toward my building without looking back. I figured goodbye would be easier that way. As I stepped through the door, I felt tears stinging my eyes.
Out of sight of the car, I leaned against the wall, let out a long breath, and wiped at the tears that threatened to fall. I was completely undone. Everything I had held against Daniel over the past few weeks had dissipated like mist when the sun comes up. All the reasons I had convinced myself to hate him seemed invalid now. I shook my head, trying to knock the sense back into me.
“Addison?” I heard a voice say.
I looked up and saw Brian staring at me with a curious expression as he stood by the elevators.
“Oh, hey, Brian,” I said casually, pushing myself from the wall.
“Uh, you okay?”
“Yeah, totally fine. I think I just got something in my eye. I’m good now.”
He didn’t look convinced, but also didn’t press me further. He pressed the button for the elevators and we stepped through the doors as they slid open.
“Did you Uber today?” he asked.
He must have seen me get out of Daniel’s town car. I felt a slight panic set in. There were strict rules about starting relationships within the office or with associates outside of the office. It wasn’t like Daniel and I were in a relationship, but having a baby certainly complicated things.
“Yeah,” I lied. “I couldn’t find my subway pass.”