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Never had I been more grateful for him.
“Thank you,” I said before he closed the door.
He didn’t ask any questions. He didn’t even glance back as if he wanted to give me privacy to work through the clear set of emotions running through me. He didn’t drive me back to work. He drove me home, which was a decision I wouldn’t have made, but a decision I needed.
I couldn’t work right now. Not when my heart was angry and breaking at the same time.
Fifteen minutes later, the car pulled into the parking garage and Armand came around to let me out. I gave him a nod that said thank you before going up to my apartment.
I took off my suit that felt like it was suffocating me and climbed into bed. It was barely 2 p.m., but all I wanted to do was sleep. I hoped when I woke up, I would realize this was all a nightmare. There had been too much loss.
Heart lost her job, which was something I would never forgive myself for. If it weren’t for my desperate impulsivity, she would still work there. And the other loss, which was almost unfathomable. The loss of our baby. I had gotten lost in looking for cribs and strollers and onesies, and really saw the joy in it all. I was going to be a dad. Was being the key word.
I closed my eyes and settled under the covers, falling into a deep sleep. My emotions had worn me out.
My phone trilled loudly. I groaned as I searched for it blindly, feeling around the bed and my nightstand until my fingers wrapped around it. I brought it close to my face and opened one eye. It was Brody calling. It was 5 p.m.
“Hello,” I answered groggily.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I disturb you?” he asked sarcastically on the other line.
“Hey, Brody.”
“Are you fucking sleeping?” he asked.
“Yeah, I am.”
“So, you left work after bailing on a meeting with the London rep to go take a nap?”
“Seems that way.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, his voice rising.
“Look, I don’t really need my little brother babysitting me,” I said irritably.
“Uh, you do, when you’re dropping the ball. We could have lost the whole London deal. You know that, right?”
“Well, did we?” I asked, uncaring.
“No, thank God. Margaret called me frantically to let me know you left. I had to run the meeting myself.”
“You’re a big boy, Brody. You can handle it.”
“Okay,Dad.”
“It’s about time you stepped up. I can’t do everything for you.”
I knew I was taking my bad day out on him, but it felt good to unleash on someone. Anyone.
“Call me back when you’re not such an asshole,” muttered Brody before he hung up.
I turned off my phone and tossed it back on the nightstand. I rolled over onto my stomach and closed my eyes again. I just wanted to go back to sleep again.
And I did. I slept until five the next morning. The sunrise coming over the buildings served as my alarm clock. I stretched my arms and let out a long yawn. It felt like I had been asleep for days.
I rolled out of bed and padded the cool, wooden floor of my bedroom to the bathroom. I ran a cold shower and stepped inside, letting the frigid water wake me up. I brushed my teeth and threw on a pair of gray sweatpants and a hoodie. I put on a pot of coffee and as I waited, my stomach growled loudly.
Yesterday, I had skipped lunch and dinner in favor of sleep. Sleep was my only escape from what had happened, but now I was awake and moments seeped into my thoughts like I was remembering a dream.