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My hands moved from her hips to her breasts, cupping them in my palms as she spread her legs so my erection was pressed against her just so. I let out a throaty moan as I felt her wet warmth seep through my shorts.
I could have her right here. Right now. I could fuck her right here against this wall. Anywhere I wanted. One swift motion, and I could be inside her. Filling her. Slapping into her hard and fast until there was nothing left to give.
But then I thought about Heart, and the thought sobered me up. It brought me back to reality. I wondered how she would feel about me being in this hotel room with my ex naked against me. And that made me pull away from Kiera’s kiss.
She opened her eyes and searched mine. “What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly, before trying to kiss me again.
“I can’t,” I said.
“Yes, you can.”
Her hands slid down the front of my shorts until they met my erection. She smiled coyly as she began massaging me slowly. I closed my eyes and lost myself again, but only for a second, before I reached down and removed her hands.
“No. This isn’t right,” I said.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she snapped, shoving at my chest.
“I don’t know,” I muttered.
“Brody was right about you. You’re not yourself.”
She crossed her arms and glared at me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, running my hand through my hair frustratedly.
She was right. Brody was right. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me. Why did I care how Heart felt when she clearly didn’t care about me? It was stupid, but I couldn’t help it.
“Yeah, me, too,” said Kiera. She picked up her bikini and quickly slid it back on. She struggled to tie the strings that were tangled.
“Let me help you,” I said.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped.
“Okay. Look, I’m sorry you came all this way.”
“Me too.”
She opened the door and slammed it behind her.
“Fuck!” I yelled.
I paced the entryway of my suite for a minute to cool down before walking out to the deck. It was dark now. I looked out at the water, which gently lapped against the stilts that held up my little bungalow.
If Kiera was a test to see if I was back to my old self, I had clearly failed. It was clear that I wasn’t over Heart. I started to wonder if I ever would be. Maybe I should have had my way with Kiera just to get Heart out of my damn head. I looked back toward the door, as if I had any chance of getting her back here. I knew it would be futile, though.
Heart would still be there in my mind. In my heart.
I sighed and pulled out my phone. I started looking for the next flight home from Bora Bora. I was cutting my trip short.
Chapter 39
Addison
Once I was discharged from the hospital, I splurged and split a cab with Monica back home to Brooklyn. I didn’t want to deal with the subway. I just wanted to get home with as little stress possible.
“What a whirlwind twenty-four hours for you,” said Monica, reaching for my hand.
“You have no idea,” I said.