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We spent the next few hours searching for doctor’s offices in Brooklyn and in the city. Monica insisted we needed the best of the best, which was terrifying for my wallet, but I was happy to have someone who cared when I was too shocked to. Thankfully, we found one in Manhattan that was highly rated and took my insurance.
It was too early to come in for an ultrasound, but we scheduled an appointment for two weeks from then. It felt like an eternity to wait that long to receive hard proof that this thing was real. Until then, I had to rely on the white plastic tests on my bathroom counter to tell me there was most likely a baby growing inside me.
The two weeks dragged on. I didn’t hear from Daniel again, and figured he was out of my life for good. The realization started to set in that I was doing this on my own.IfI was to go through with it. I could barely afford to keep myself alive, let alone a child. The thought kept me up at night.
On the day of my appointment, I took a personal day at work and Monica met me at my apartment. She rode the subway with me into Manhattan, babbling on about her newest plot for a book. I was surprised she wasn’t taking this whole mess and turning it into a bestseller. It had the surprise element. Maybe she could write the happy ending that I wouldn’t have.
We arrived at the doctor’s office with five minutes to spare. The waiting room was bright white with white leather chairs. It felt sterile and cold. I noticed women with growing bellies sitting with pearls around their necks and Louis Vuitton handbags at their feet, with their doting husbands in suits beside them. They looked up curiously when Monica and I walked in wearing leggings and oversized t-shirts.
Even the front desk woman looked me up and down before greeting me with her best attempt to be friendly.
“Hello, may I help you?” she asked. Her smile was so ungenuine, she may as well not have even tried.
“Um, hi. Yes, I have an appointment at 9:30 for an ultrasound.”
“Name?”
“Oh right. Heartly. Addison Heartly.”
“And who is this?” She side-eyed Monica.
“Her best friend,” said Monica with authority, stepping up closer to the counter.
“Riiight. Okay, well, I have a few forms for you to fill out. You can just skip over the ‘father’ section, if you need to.”
That was a bold assumption, but I hated that I would have to prove her right.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“Highly rated, my ass,” said Monica as we sat down.
“We’re in the upper East Side. What did you expect?” I whispered as I jotted down my information.
We waited for fifteen minutes before a woman in scrubs poked her head out of a nearby door and called my name. I shakily stood from my chair and followed her through the door and down the hallway. We entered a small, white room that felt just as cold as the waiting room.
She handed me a pink hospital gown.
“Go ahead and put this on and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
She slipped out the door and I quickly undressed. I slid the pink gown over my head and sat back on the examination table. Monica pulled her chair up beside me. I looked over at the computer and video monitor. It all started to feel very real.
A knock sounded at the door and the woman stepped inside.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
I nodded. My throat felt dry.
The woman busied herself with typing my information in the computer and getting the white wand prepped with a clear jelly.
“Okay, it will feel cold at first and maybe a little uncomfortable. But since it’s early, we have to do it this way. Here on out, ultrasounds will be done externally.”
“Okay,” I said softly.
Monica reached for my hand and held it.
A few uncomfortable seconds later, the nurse pointed to the video monitor. She explained the different things we were seeing on the screen. I wondered where the baby was. Maybe the tests had been wrong. But then she stopped moving the wand and pointed at the screen.
“And there is your baby,” she said.