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“No, I would,” he said, wholly serious. That little frown line of his made an appearance between his brows. “I would choose you, Liv. Without a doubt, I would choose you.”
I swallowed past the small knot that had formed in my throat, refusing to admit that my eyes were glassy.
I was not crying over Neil’s confession.I was not.
(Okay, maybe I was. A little.)
His hands slid over my cheeks, cradling my face. “I love you,”he said, and pressed a soft kiss against my lips. “You make me happy, and you challenge me, and you make me feel…alive.You—”
I shut him up with a kiss. If he kept going, I was going to embarrass myself and full-on cry like a total mush. As it was, my heart already felt like it had swelled up to at least three times its size, overflowing with all the reasons why I loved him, too.
I moved my mouth against his with a need so deep it bordered on physically painful, tongue stroking his tongue, hands pulling at his hair. It could’ve gone on for seconds or minutes or days, but I couldn’t have told a soul which one it was.
I slid down off the edge of his tailgate, breaking our kiss and tugging him along with me by his shirtsleeve with a smirk twisting my lips. I led him up my driveway, through my front doors, and up the stairs—it wasn’t what it sounded like. I wasn’t dragging him into a den of sin with me.
We’d already had the sex talk—again.It had gone something like:
Me:Why? Because it’s a sin?
Him: A chuckle.I mean, that’s part of it. But it’s mostly about committing ourselves to each other before God. I want us to belong to each other, in every way, before we take that step.
Think about how much better it’ll feel, too, when we do.
Me: A thick swallow. Screaming at the roof of his truck—to whatever god existed beyond it—that I guess I could wait to share with him the sacred place that was my vagina.
Him: Kissing me to shut me the hell up, his lips turned up in laughter against mine.
And that was the end of that conversation.
As I led him up my stairs now, he tossed me a curious look. Eyes glittering in question, lips curved in amusement. I pulled him into my room and shut the door behind us, causing his eyes to widen even more in curiosity.
I walked over to my dresser and plucked a bright green origami butterfly off of it, grabbing a purple pen on my way back to Neil. I dropped them both in his hands.
He pulled the butterfly apart, chuckling at the words inside.
Will you be my boyfriend? Circle one: Yes or No.
He tossed them both to the ground, hefting me over his shoulder instead, and threw me onto the bed, climbing over me.
The warm brown strands of his hair fell over his face as he smiled down at me, and then he leaned down and kissed me. “Yeah, I guess I can break my rule for you.”
I laughed, yanking him back in and kissing him harder. “Good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah. Otherwise, I’d have to tie you up and keep you in my closet. And what a sad existence that would be.For you.” I mock pouted.
He threw his head back in a deep laugh. “It’s definitely your devious side that does it for me, Liv.”
Chapter 26
Saint and Sinner
A calming buzz filled the room a few weeks later, humming in a sinful symphony. Tattoo guns marking strangers’ skin for life.
Neil seemed more nervous than I was. Which wasn’t saying much because I wasn’t actually all that nervous. It was written all over the features of his face, though. His pinched brows, the thin line his lips were making, the intense look in his eyes.
“Are you nervous about the pain, or the sin?” I asked him, a smirk tilting my lips.