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“Now I tell you that my faith is still important to me… and waiting to have sex until marriage is, too.” My stomach dipped at the look he gave me, at the heat in his gaze. Like maybe sex was off the table, but there were some other things that weren’t.Maybe.His soft kiss against my wrist solidified my theory. “I’m still going on my mission, but when I get back, I’m going to move into my own apartment and apply for the fire academy,” he added, and I smiled. I was so down for a Neil in uniform.
He smoothed a hand over the top of his steering wheel, gripping it once before letting it fall back into his lap. Releasing a deep breath, he said, “I won’t live my life guided by anyone’s expectations but my own, and I have you to thank in part for that, but you should know that I’m still figuring out what some of those expectations are.
“I want to figure them outwithyou, though. I just pray that you’re okay with that.”
I swallowed. Smiled. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head, laughing on a breath. “I guess I just wanted to put it all out there.”
I nodded. I could respect that. I could respect everything he was saying. I honestly could. Navigating slow steps with Neil was a hell of a lot better than not taking any steps with him at all. And it was this, this exchange of honesty and vulnerability, more than anything else, that had been missing before. The willingness to admit our feelings and our desires and our plans and justbetogether.
“Since we’re putting it all out there,” I said. “I should probably tell you that I’m not perfect—obviously.”I shrugged my shoulders, mouth twisted to the side in a wry smile. “But I don’t care to be.”
My fingers got tangled up in the bottom of my shirt as I pulled at the material. How much did I tell him? How much did I say?All of it?
“I’m not sure if I believe in a god, Neil, and I know I’ll more than likely keep pushing your boundaries even if it’s not intentional. I can be rude, and mouthy, and a pain in the ass, and youdon’t even want toknowwhat my mother actually does for a living, but I’ll tell you, because this is me. All of me. My future is a rainbow of ridiculous possibilities, but they all center around you—and how much I love movies and writing screenplays. And that isallI know.
“I’m kind of a mess.” I huffed out a laugh. “But I’m figuring it out, and I want to figure it out withyou, too.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want perfect. I just want you.”
I couldn’t tell you when our seat belts had come off, but Neil was across his cab and I was sliding into his arms and into his warmth, and I swear to God—the deity, the universe,whatever—there wasn’t anything that felt as good as being wrapped up in Neil again.
And then I was aliar,because his lips slid over mine, and his hands curled around my face, andthiswas the best feeling in the world.
I felt like I could finallybreathe.
Sunshine and warmth surrounding me, Neil’s soft lips devouring me. His tongue, and his teeth, and his hands, andholy shit…
He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead against mine. His breaths drifted across my lips.
They tasted like candy, and the thought made me smile.
“Hey, Neil?” I whispered softly.
“Yeah, Liv?” he breathed. His hands were still wrapped around my face, his thumbs painting a pattern over my cheeks.
“I think I should probably also tell you that I love you,” I finally confessed.
His eyes pinched closed, fingers tightening in my hair as a relieved breath rushed out of him. When he opened his eyes, his gaze melted into mine, and there were too many emotions floating between us to name. “I love you, too, Liv.God,do I love you.” And his lips slammed back down on mine.
Right—my heart screamed for the second time tonight, flooding my bloodstream with the sentiment. “Say it again.”
He chuckled. “I love you, Liv.”
I pulled him closer, tasting the words on his tongue.
We said them again and again, over and over between kisses. Soft and achingly slow ones that stretched out into eternity. Turning into an entirely different kind of conversation altogether—one of hands and mouths and sounds that led me directly into an inferno.
I swear, Neil growled something about burning in the fire right along with me.
I snuck inside my house at two am.Snuckwas a technical word, though, because Linda wouldn’t have cared.
But I immediately froze when I saw her sitting at the island in the kitchen, crying her eyes out.
No,bawling.
Every tired muscle in my body seized up, my bones locking in place, my heart climbing up into my throat and constricting my airways. Linda did not cry—ever.I hadn’t seen her cry once in my entire life, so if she was crying, something was definitely,seriouslywrong. But I couldn’t for the life of me dig up the words to ask her what the hell was going on.