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“What?” I met her eyes. They were about four shades darker than mine, but brown was brown, I guess.
“There’s a ‘but’ here, I can feel it,” she said, and I looked back over at Neil. The reality of me staring at him seemed to be left far in his rearview mirror, probably not even a blip on his radar, as he continued laughing with his friends—who had now been joined by some of the guys on the swim team. The swim team he happened to be a member of.
I made a mental note to make it to the next meet. If things were looking different on the outside of his clothing, then things were definitely happening underneath them that I needed to see.
I moved swiftly past that thought, pretending it never happened. “But nothing,” I said, brushing it off with a shrug of my shoulders. “Nothing at all.”
If Sydney saw past my bravado, she didn’t say anything.
Because again, this was Neil we were talking about. Neil—who wore button-ups as a regular part of his high school attire.
Who did that?
No one did, that’s who. Just Neil and only Neil.
I should’ve been repulsed by it, and in normal circumstances I probably would’ve been, but instead, I found myself wanting to run my fingers along each of those buttons, all the way to the very top, and listen to them fall and clink against the floor as I ripped his shirt apart.
What waswrongwith me?
“I think I want inside his pants,” I finally admitted out loud, and Sydney choked on her grape soda.
When she finally got her shit together, she said, “I’m sorry, girl, but I don’t think he’d let you near him with a ten-foot pole.”
I laughed. “Yeah… I bet I couldn’t even get close enough to kiss him, let alone get inside his pants.”
“I bet you could.” The rise in her voice and the lift of her right eyebrow were challenge enough.
I looked over at Neil again.
His eyes caught mine immediately, and my stomach did an unfamiliar flip.
Screw it.I smiled—more of a smirk, really—and threw my hand up in a small wave for him to see. It was official. I’d lost my mind. But I couldn’t stop obsessing over Neil Summers. So I turned to Sydney and said, “You’re on,” and shook her hand to solidify my stupidity.
Why did I take her bet? I didn’t know. Sometimes smart people did stupid things. Especially when said debatably smart person found herself, for whatever inexplicable reason, really wanting to kiss an attractive, virtuous, Bible-loving Neil Summers.
Chapter 2
Holy Water
Turned out that Neil and I had a few classes together. Actually, after lunch was over our first day back, I quickly found out that we had the entire rest of the day together. Three classes in total—math, science, and lastly, ASB.
I hadn’t made my move yet, or any moves yet, really, except that I had managed to snag a seat next to him in ASB.
It had been three days. Three long and embarrassingly futile days that I couldn’t find it in me to speak much of any words to him at all. Except for:
Me:“Hi.”
Him:“Hey.” Soft side-smile that absolutely did not make my insides squish.
Me:“How’ve you been?” I really hope you don’t remember the time I professed my love to you when we were seven years old.
Him:“Pretty good. And you?” Smirk. I definitely remember.
Inner Olivia:Shut down. Walk away. Abort mission.
It was… disconcerting, to say the least. Perplexing. This was not like me. Not at all. I was not an introvert, I was not afraid of confrontation, and I sure as hell was not intimidated byboys.
It was guilt, I told myself. I never should have taken that bet. It was stupid. And I had no shame in backing down and telling Sydney as much.Yeah, that had to be it.As soon as I admitted it to myself, I felt better. Lighter. More myself.