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“Okay,” I grumbled. I was not a crier, so if I didn’t cry the first time he left, I sure as hell wasn’t going to embarrass myself and do it now.
“Cheer up.” He nudged my chin. “I’ll see you again soon.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I stepped back a foot. “Go be a hero now. Oorah and all that shit.”
He laughed. “Oorah, kiddo. Or better yet, semper fidelis.”
“What?” I deadpanned.
“Semper fidelis. It means ‘Always Faithful.’ That’s you and me.Semper-fi.”
The corner of my mouth hitched up. “I kind of like that. Even if it makes you sound like a huge dork.”
He pulled me in for one last hug with a chuckle, and then I held my hand up in a wave as I watched him walk away, vanishing through the terminal doors.
Chapter 6
Butterflies
I was in an awful mood. The worst mood. Think PMS, stacked on top of a shitty day, stacked on top of waking up with a vacant space in my house and my heart, kind of worst mood.
I didn’t have patience for anyone the day after Jason left. Hence the reason Sydney officially wasn’t talking to me today. Like I gave two shits. She’d asked what was wrong with me about one time too many, so I gave her a piece of my mind, telling her to shut up and mind her own damn business. She did so,gladly—her word, not mine.
I knew I was going to have to apologize to her later. But she’d forgive me like she always did. And vice versa. Our relationship was an annoying one,yes, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Sydney was the Holmes to my Watson and the Bonnie to my Clyde. In other words, we made no damn sense, but we were ride or die.
But back to my world-class shitty day: I had three classes left for the day before I could get the hell out of here, go home, change into my uniform, and start my first official day of projectionist training at the theater. It was the only thing that gave me even a hint of excitement that day. It felt like I’d been waiting forever for the title, and now that my birthday was only a few weeks away, my managers felt comfortable enough letting me work the closing shift that ended at midnight.
I’d already shadowed Gabe, the head-projectionist, all over the projection room out of mere curiosity, so I pretty much knew all there was to know. So really, my training period was just a formality.
But the best part? Our theater still ran film reels when the rest of the world had upgraded to digital. It was a dying practice, I knew, but our theater still did it, and I was obsessed.
We had to physically splice together 35mm film and run it through the machines with our hands, press and flip a few switches to start the projector and wait for it to fully run before opening the douser and letting the lamplight through. The clicks and hum of the mechanics, film traveling through each piece—I loved it.
So, no matter how shitty my current mood, I was looking forward to it. That, and when all the screens were running, I got to sit around and watch the movies. Like, it was in my job description. Getting paid to watch movies and make sure they were running properly.How was that real life?I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. It wasmylife, and that’s all that mattered.
I walked from lunch to fourth period, a permanent scowl on my face despite any of this. I didn’t know when I was going to see Jason again. Or when I’d even hear from him. I understood and respected what he was doing—yes—but it didn’t mean I liked it. In fact, I hated it. Full honesty, it was terrifying.
Worrying about him ate me up sometimes, but I guess it was about time our roles had reversed. He’d spent enough of our childhood worrying about me.
He’s fine. He’ll be fine,I told myself repeatedly, right up until I bumped into the back of Neil and my bag of chips went flying across the floor, spilling everywhere.Great. Awesome.I sighed a dramatic sigh and cursed the world with a few colorful expletives.
“Dammit,” I growled. Sometimes I wished it was still appropriate to throw yourself on the floor and kick and scream when life wasn’t going your way. Apparently, that kind of life tactic was only cool for three-year-olds.Whatever.
I rolled my eyes at the universe, picking up my wasted lunch of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
“Here, let me help you,” Neil offered, taking the bag from my hands.
“It’s okay, I got it,” I said in vain. He was already halfway through picking them up for me, and I wasn’t really doing anything but standing here watching him. “Thanks,” I added when he was all done, and then I turned and started heading into class.
“Liv?” His voice sliced into my awareness. Maybe even through my irritation. (Who was I kidding? Neil’s words were like a knife cutting through warm butter.)
“Yeah?” I turned back around and faced him.
When I did, when his eyes met mine, my throat closed up the smallest, almost imperceptible bit.
Just looking at him seemed to set me off balance.
But there was a contrast of light and dark in his eyes that was suddenly fascinating, and the subtle curve of his lips as they lifted into a smile… I could hardly remember what had been bothering me all day.