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“No.” He laughed. “But my point is, if I got you to love me once, I think I could do it again.”
“Nope. Not gonna happen. Besides, we’d have to get past the whole ‘I don’t really do the girlfriend thing’ first, whichreallyisn’t going to happen, because I don’t do the boyfriend thing either.” I threw him a smartass, twisted smile like the smartass I was, neglecting to tell him that he had actually made me question it—the whole boyfriend thing.
“Yeah, we’ll see.” He smirked.
It was a joke; we were joking. But it still felt like we were dancing around on a dangerous line. A line I was definitely going to be steering clear of from here on out.
“But back to the point… I never actually said that,” I lied. I totally had said that, and the memory of it sat in my mind, clear as day.
“Do you love me, Neil?” I asked.
His eyes widened, unsure. “Like I love my mom and dad?”
I shook my head, a little frown settling on my small features. “Like you love a best friend… or a girlfriend.”
“A girlfriend?!” His eyes went even wider, perfectly round like the handballs I played with at recess. “You’re my best friend, so I like you a lot like a best friend.”
“But do youloveme?”
His cheeks went pink. “I don’t know.”
I thought that he must have loved me, but he was just too afraid to say it. What a chicken.
“Well, I love you, Neil.” I huffed. “Because you’re my best friend.”
Full honesty, Neil actually was the first (and only) boy I ever loved. Even if it was on a purely innocent and childlike level. It made me uncomfortable now, just thinking about it. As if him getting through to my heart once before meant he could do it again.
Ha, not happening. I looked down at my phone.
“Agree to disa—” Neil started.
“It’s 12:12,” I cut him off, crossing my fingers, closing my eyes, and holding my breath, throwing my wish out into the universe. I never held tight to one wish like I imagined most people did; instead, I always made it a point to wish for something new.
This time?
Do not let me fall for Neil Summers. Do not let me fall for Neil Summers.
Call me dramatic, but it felt necessary. Extremely necessary. Especially when I opened my eyes and found his gaze on the side of my face, a soft smile curving his lips that made my heart do a little flip inside my chest.
I saida little.
Friends. Friends is what we now were. Friends who had gone on one pretty awesome date and had kissed a lot but did not, under any circumstances, fall in lo—
Ugh, I couldn’t even think it.
But that’s all we could be—all I wanted to be—for too many reasons, anyway.
Friends.
It was back to being my turn as Designated Driver, and at the moment, in my current position as D.D., the drunk-o’s were hungry so at a fast-food joint, we were.
Sydney turned up the music in the Jeep, Mikey and Sal were trying to order at the same time through the same window, while Grant was chanting “chicken nuggets” from the very back, in between making out with whoever that girl was that he was making out with. I wasn’t actually sure where she’d even come from. (Sal and Grant were also part of our core-friend group, and as an unwritten rule, I hadn’t hooked-up with either of them—for the record—Mikey included.)
I turned the volume down and yelled at everyone to shut the hell up. “Sorry about that,” I said to the girl manning the drive-through. I attempted to sound a least a little more patient than I was feeling, which wasn’t too hard, because I wasn’t all that irritated. Not really. “We’ll just take, like, one hundred chicken nuggets, four large fries, and four Cokes.”
“Ooh!Let’s eat over there!” Sydney pointed at the park across the street when we pulled out of the parking lot, the smell of fried food filling up the cab of Wednesday along with Grant’s weed. Overly excited agreements echoed around the Jeep, and only drunk, would they think it wassuch a great idea!to eat in the cold, dark park, but whatever. I was down.
I jerked to a quick stop in a parking spot and watched everyone jolt forward in their seats with the movement and cracked up.Ah, the benefits of being sober when in charge of a bunch of drunks. It was all in good fun, though; they were laughing, too.