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And then, like most children, Sol was already moving on, pulling away.
‘Come on! Let’s find Papa and go to the beach!’
‘I’ll follow you down.’
But Sol was gone.
Sadie took in a big shuddery breath.
‘Okay?’
She whirled around at the sound of Quin’s voice. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Relaxed. Sexy. At home here.
She forced her mind away from all Quin’s attributes and nodded. ‘Fine... You’ve done an amazing job on the renovations.’
‘They were your suggestions, remember?’
Sadie nodded slowly. Yes. She remembered it now. A conversation when she’d listed all the things she’d do if she owned the beach house. She’d been the one who’d said that she’d love a dormer room with a balcony, so she could sit and watch the dawn breaking. Her favourite time of day.
Maybe that was why she hadn’t remembered at first—because it was so utterly bittersweet to see that Quin had gone ahead and done it.Ready for someone else?Because sooner or later he would move on, and be with another woman. Perhaps marry her. Have more children—siblings for Sol. And where would Sadie fit into that equation? The thought of being further and further sidelined as his new family formed made her feel a sharp pain in her chest.
She realised Quin had walked into his own room and was standing on the balcony. She joined him, still feeling emotional.
Sol’s and Fernanda’s voices floated up from downstairs.
‘Why did you buy it, Quin? After what happened, I would’ve thought you’d never want to see this place again.’
He didn’t answer for a long time, and then he spoke almost as if to himself. ‘I stayed here for a month afterwards, with Sol. Expecting that you’d just reappear. I thought maybe you’d suffered some sort of post-partum depression or something. I thought if I waited...’
Sadie said nothing—just looked at Quin’s profile.
He went on, ‘And then... I think I knew. I couldn’t feel you any more. Somehow I knew you were far away. But even when I knew I had to leave—because I had to work and I needed support for me and Sol—I just couldn’t let the house go.’ He made a little huffing sound. ‘You see, even then—as angry as I was—I imagined you returning to the house, finding new people living here and not being able to contact me even though you had my phone number. It was irrational, but I kept on paying the rent after we left. And when the lease was due for renewal I found myself offering to buy it.’
He finally looked at Sadie, and she almost recoiled at the bleak pain she saw in his eyes. She knew it instantly.He had loved her.
‘Even though I hated you for what you had done to us, I couldn’t bear the thought that you might come back and find the place taken over,’ he said. He shook his head at himself. ‘How messed up is that? In the end I decided we’d use it as a holiday home and had it renovated.’
Sadie looked blindly out at the view, tears blurring her vision. She blinked them back. When she spoke her voice was rough. ‘I can’t keep saying I’m sorry, Quin. Sooner or later you’ll have to accept that we can’t go back. I did what I did at the time because I was terrified I would bring harm to you and Sol...and your friend Claude has confirmed how real the danger was...’
She looked at him. The enormity of being back here was dissolving every wall she’d had to build to protect herself in the last four years. She had nowhere to hide.
She could only say, ‘But you need to know that I never stopped loving you, Quin. I still love you. The first thing I did when I learned that I could have my life back was come to find you and Sol.’
If Sadie had hoped that Quin’s features would melt at hearing those words and he would gather her into his arms, then she’d been a fool. Still some part of her dared to hope...but he was like stone.
And then he shook his head. ‘I’m sorry... I can’t...’
Sadie’s insides curled in on themselves. Ice went into her veins as some sort of self-protection.
Before she could figure out how to respond, how to get out of this conversation with any shred of dignity, Sol appeared in the doorway of the bedroom.
‘Come on, guys...hurry up!’
Sadie looked at her son. He was her focus now. The centre of her world.
She moved away from Quin and went back to her room on wooden legs, somehow forcing a brightness she did not feel into her voice. ‘Okay, give me two minutes.’
‘I never stopped loving you, Quin... I still love you.’