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‘You say you’re only here to see your son? In that case I’ll give you my solicitor’s details and you can contact me through the appropriate legal channels.’
Sadie could feel her blood drain south, and for a second she felt dizzy. She must have swayed slightly or something, because Quin said, ‘Are you okay?’
But he didn’t sound concerned—he sounded irritated. Sadie nodded. She wasn’t going to wilt at his feet like some sort of waif. Even if it had been hours since she’d eaten; she’d been too nervous. And she hadn’t slept much since she’d arrived in New York from England the day before.
‘I’m fine.’ She needed to be strong, to appeal to Quin. ‘Look, I don’t have the kind of funds required to hire a solicitor to enter into legal proceedings to gain access to my son. I just want to see my son and spend some time with him.’
Quin shot back without hesitation, ‘And then what? Disappear again without a trace? One advantage of leaving when you did the last time was that he was only a few days old. He’s four now, and he has a mind like a steel trap. He notices everything and everyone.’
Emotion bubbled up at how he described Sol, stinging Sadie’s eyes before she could stop it. Her knowledge of her son had been confined to very grainy paparazzi photos of Quin and Sol taken over the years, compounding her pain and loneliness at having left them.
When it had become apparent that Quintano Holt, son of legendary billionaire and industry titan Robert Holt, was a single father, the social columns had gone into a frenzy, speculating about where Quin had been for the past few years and how he’d become a single father.
Sadie hadn’t known about Quin’s own father—or, apparently, according to the gossip sites, the man who wasnothis biological father. She hadn’t known that he had an older brother, or that he’d come from an incredibly privileged background, born into one of America’s founding families.
Quin had never spoken much about his life before he’d met Sadie during the year they’d been together, only telling her that he wasn’t close to his family. She’d sensed his reticence to talk about it and so she hadn’t pushed. After all, she’d only known the full extent of her own past for a couple of days when she’d first met him...
But now was not the time to get into all of that. They had bigger issues. She forced the emotion down and said, ‘I’m not going anywhere. Not again. I’m here to stay. I’m here to be a mother to Sol.’
Even though the thought terrified her. She’d been his mother for mere days before she’d known she had no choice but to leave, for Quin and Sol’s safety.
Quin made a snorting sound. ‘Based on previous behaviour, I’d say there are two chances of you sticking around: slim and none.’
Sadie needed to try and convince him somehow, and the only thing she could convince him with was the truth—but she could already imagine Quin laughing his head off. Disbelieving her. Even though it would be easy to prove.
She pleaded, ‘Give me a chance to explain why I left, Quin—please. If you’d just—’
But he held up his hand and stopped her words. She watched him take a small phone out of an inner jacket pocket and press a button, then hold it up to his ear. He turned away slightly, and even that attempt to hide himself from her was wounding. When they’d been together he’d never hidden from her.
Except that wasn’t true. Quin Holthadhidden a huge amount from her—not least his significant family history. In the year that she’d known him she’d assumed that he was little more than a surfer boy and a tech nerd, travelling and working remotely because he had no ties, or none that he cared much about.
Not that Sadie could claim any moral high ground after what she’d done and what she’d hidden about herself. But right now she needed to gain his trust, not alienate him.
She realised he was talking Portuguese, specifically Brazilian Portuguese. He sounded a lot more fluent than he’d been when they’d been living in a small surfing beach town to the east of Sao Paulo in Brazil. Evidently they’d both had their reasons for being in such a place, where one could get lost. Except she’d forgotten her reasons for being there thanks to a head injury sustained while surfing, just two days after she’d first laid eyes on him. He’d been the one who had pulled her out of the water and who had saved her life.
For almost the entire year she’d been with Quin, in a whirlwind, passionate and life-changing relationship, she hadn’t remembered a thing about who she really was. She’d felt incredibly vulnerable after the accident, but he’d won her trust by taking care of her and expecting nothing in return. And then, over the days and weeks that had followed, their building attraction had finally become too powerful to ignore and they’d become lovers, inseparable.
Somehow, the fact that she couldn’t remember who she was, or anything of her past, had almost faded into the background. They’d been so caught up in each other, in a dreamlike bubble. It had been easy to forget that Quin must have had a past too. He’d become her anchor. And the love of her life.
She’d only regained her memory after the birth of Sol. And that had led to her fateful exodus—the hardest thing she’d ever had to do in her life. And the most painful.
Quin had terminated his phone conversation now and was looking at her. Sadie tried again, ‘Please, Quin—’
But he cut her off. ‘I don’t have time now to hear whatever story you’ve concocted to explain how you could have walked away from your own baby without a backward glance. I’m returning to Brazil.’
She hadn’t walked away without a backward glance. Far from it. Every day since then had been an absolute torture. The only thing that had got her through those endless days had been the knowledge that she’d done what she’d done to keep Quin and Sol safe at all costs. And the cost had been huge. But worth it. Even now, in the face of Quin’s hostility and anger. Even if he never forgave her.
The need to defend herself mixed with panic at the thought that Quin was going to just walk away. She focused on what he’d said.
‘Brazil? What’s in Brazil?’
‘I live in Sao Paulo with Sol.’
Sadie’s heart clenched. That was where he’d been born.
‘Sol is there now?’
She wanted to ask him how he could leave their son behind, thousands of miles away, but she bit her lip. She didn’t really have that right.