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There was a steady stream of acolytes wanting to speak with Quin, and Sadie couldn’t help but feel proud of all that he had achieved—even if he hadn’t come from an impoverished background like her, as she’d imagined. He’d turned his back on a vast inheritance and that had taken guts.
After a little while, Quin took two fresh glasses of wine from a waiter’s tray and led her out to a fragrant outdoor terrace. Sadie took one of the drinks and breathed in the evening air. The city skyline twinkled in the distance...it was magical.
‘Thank you.’ She raised her glass at him before taking a sip. He loosened his bow tie a little. ‘You don’t like dressing up?’ Sadie observed.
Quin made a face. ‘Not really. I never did.’
Sadie put her back to the wall and looked up at him, her gaze taking in the hard, lean planes of his face. Her conscience pricked. He looked so much less carefree than he had when she’d known him before. Was that her fault?
She pushed aside the ever-present guilt and asked, ‘Were you ever going to tell me about the world you’d been born into?’
Quin glanced at her, clearly reluctant, as he was whenever his past or his family was mentioned. But eventually he said, ‘Of course. I would have had to—we were having a child together.’
‘I know you said you liked the anonymity, but why was it so important for you to keep your background from me?’
‘I liked the version of me that you saw. Someone who didn’t have a massive legacy. I’d grown up with everyone knowing who I was. Looking and judging and whispering. It was a novelty to be free of all that. You weren’t tainted with any of the toxicity.’
Sadie absorbed this. ‘Your brother...he’s older?’
Quin nodded. He turned away from the view and rested back against the wall of the terrace, like Sadie. She turned side on to face him. The rest of the party had faded way into the background. There was only her and him.
‘Primo... He was born first, hence his name. Our mother was Brazilian. There’s no ambiguity abouthispaternal lineage, he resembles our—his—father, albeit just physically. He’s a much better man. He has integrity.’
Sadie frowned. ‘There are other brothers? Sisters?’
Quin shook his head. ‘No, our mother had three miscarriages after Primo—that’s why I’m called Quinto. Number five.’
Sadie thought of something. ‘That’s why you were so insistent on me going to a big hospital for the birth, isn’t it?’
Quin nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable. ‘I hadn’t thought about it like that, but maybe it was a subconscious fear of what might happen.’
Sadie was filled with compassion. ‘So many miscarriages... That must have been traumatic for your mother. Are you in touch with her?’
Quin let out a sound that was meant to be a laugh but sounded more like a snarl. ‘No, we’re not close. I haven’t seen her since the day she left us when I was a toddler. Needless to say I don’t remember much about her.’
The words landed inside Sadie, softly at first, but as she registered their meaning they detonated inside her like little bombs. She put a hand to her mouth and Quin looked at her. She took her hand down.
‘I had no idea...that she walked out on you...and then...’ Sadie stopped. It was too huge, the meaning of this. She turned around to face the view, seeing nothing but the enormity of what Quin had just revealed about himself.
She shook her head. Her insides were collapsing in on themselves, her guts twisting with remorse and regret.
She looked at Quin, eyes stinging, and whispered, ‘I had no idea... How could I?’
‘Would it have changed things? If you’d known that you were repeating the betrayal of my mother?’
Sadie shook her head. ‘Please don’t say that...it wasn’t the same. If I’d known... It would have made it so much harder, but I wouldn’t have wanted you to torture yourself, thinking that I’d done it for any other reason than out of—’
‘Don’t say it!’ Quin said harshly.
He shook his head, tension emanating from his tall, powerful body. Sadie could feel it.
He said tautly, ‘I can acknowledge that what happened with you was different...but it didn’t feel different to me. All I could think about was the fact that my son was going to experience the very same act of betrayal as me. I thought that I’d somehow caused it to happen, made history repeat itself.’
Sadie’s throat ached with the effort to hold back her emotion. She knew he wouldn’t appreciate it. ‘Of course that’s not true, Quin. It wasn’t your fault at all. I’m so sorry... Please believe I never wanted to betray you and Sol. It was an act to protect you.’
Because I loved you.
But he wouldn’t want to hear that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.