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They were escorted to the maternity ward and to the bank of quiet, comfortable rooms where scans were done. Her mind was still on Mateo and the business of getting used to this version of him as she lay on the couch, suddenly self-conscious as the procedure began. He’d seen her naked. They had made love many times and he had touched her in all her most intimate places. Even so, lying on this couch in a darkened room, with the machine beeping and the radiographer about to see what was happening inside her, Alice felt oddly nervous and vulnerable.
But all of that was forgotten when she saw the little speck on the machine, the fierce pumping of a tiny heart, the beginnings of a boy or girl. The radiographer was talking, and Alice excitedly asked a couple of questions, but it was only when they were wrapping up the scan that she realised that Mateo had not said a word. He’d been completely silent and, as they were left on their own to digest what they’d been told and gaze at the black and white picture printed out for them, she suddenly felt her heart drop.
She couldn’t meet his eyes as she hurriedly hopped off the couch and straightened her clothes. ‘It’s all very real now, isn’t it?’ she said in a high, light voice. She backed away so that she was pressed against the couch, arms folded, her eyes locked with his.
‘Come again?’
‘It’s okay to discuss the ramifications of a baby but, now that you’ve actually seen proof of the pregnancy with your own eyes, I guess all those ways your life is going to change are really being rammed home to you.’
He was pale. Good intentions were easily washed away, she thought miserably. He’d been great talking about what an active parent he was going to be, but was he now considering the consequences in a slightly different way? A living, breathing little human would take up a disproportionate amount of time and it was a responsibility that would never end.
Was he now back-tracking on being hands-on and heading down the ‘financial support only’ route?
Surely not? And yet, why on earth was he not saying anything?
‘If you’ve changed your mind about...about everything, then that’s fine. I understand,’ she said in a rush, grabbing her coat and back pack and walking briskly to the door whilst making sure to keep plenty of room between them. Get too close, and whatever vibe he had just went right through her, scrambling her brain and turning her body to mush. Right now, she wasn’t interested in either of those things happening.
‘Well?’ The silence from him was agonising. ‘Have you—changed your mind? Because you can come right out and say it.’
‘Let’s get out of here. When it comes to conversations, a hospital is only marginally better than a box room at a school.’
‘I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on, Mateo. If you’re having second thoughts about getting involved with this baby, then that’s fine, but I’m not going to go for dinner so that we can discuss your change of mind over a three-course meal.’
He was already heading out and Alice tripped along next to him, every nerve in her body braced for news that was going to be so disappointing. If thinking about a future with him involved in her life at some level had been bad, thinking about a future with himnotin her life, just depositing money into an account to make sure she was okay, was a million times worse.
‘You’re right.’ Mateo finally spoke when they were outside and a black cab was slowing for them. ‘Slight change of plan. In the cab, Alice. This isn’t an email conversation, I’m afraid, or anything I want to rush because you’re suddenly in a hurry. Restaurant chit chat with a waiter interrupting us every three minutes isn’t going to do—not quite the venue for the conversation we need to have.’
He stepped aside, waiting until she had no option but to slide into the taxi. While she grappled with the near impossibility of remaining silent, he stared, first at her, with cool, assessing eyes, then straight ahead.
Alice fumed and simmered in silence as they cleared through late afternoon traffic, stopping and starting before cruising past the crowded streets into a hushed residential setting where towering Georgian houses were set back from the road by a wide pavement. Rows of precise, black wrought-iron railings stood guard outside each of the impressive properties.
‘Where the heck are we, Mateo?’
‘My house.’
‘No way.’
‘I’m not having an argument in the back of a cab, Alice, so hop out. You’re free to argue with me when we get inside.’
‘That won’t be happening because I won’t be getting inside.’
But, agonisingly, she knew that she would because she needed to hear what Mateo had to say. Running from a problem never helped when it came to solving it. A baby was on the way and neither hurt feelings nor stubborn pride should be allowed to get in the way of deciding what to do.
His house was testimony to his immense wealth. In comparison, his lodge on those snowy slopes had been a positive shack in comparison. Alice winced when she thought of her kindly remarks to him when she’d thought that he was no more than an averagely well paid IT guy who might only be able to afford a nifty ski lodge if it was rented out when he wasn’t there and who probably didn’t own his own place in London.
She stepped into a glorious sea of white marble, bold abstract paintings on the walls and rich, expensive rugs underfoot. A very modern staircase of metal and glass carved its way upstairs, dissecting the open area into two halves. Wide-eyed, she gazed around her. To the left, an impressive archway led to various rooms. On the right, an arch that mirrored it led to yet more rooms. Why on earth did one guy need so many rooms? she wondered.
Her gaze finally settled on him and he raised his eyebrows and told her that they could chat in the sitting room.
‘You have a lovely...er...house, Mateo. Or maybe I should saypalace.’
She blinked when he burst out laughing, and then blushed, because the sound of that laughter, rich and amused, was at once familiar and filled her with nostalgia.
It was also a timely reminder of the silence that had settled over him ever since the scan. Which in turn brought her right back down to earth with a bump.
‘So...’ she ventured as she was ushered into an amazing sitting room with low, cream sofas and a warm, rich rug that covered most of the floor.
‘So...’