Page 101

Nell pulled the brim of the hat she was wearing down lower, so it shaded her nose from the hot Greek sun, and stared so hard at her book the print blurred.
Sex had blinded her, that was the issue. She’d been rendered so breathless by his touch and the way he made her feel physically that she’d expected the same feeling to follow on naturally out of bed as in it. And it hadn’t. Their interactions were fraught and stilted when sex was taken out of the equation, and she didn’t know how to make it better.
Yet you reached for his hand that night in Melbourne. And you reached for it again that day in New York when you thought you might lose the babies. And he took it. He held you as tightly as you held him.
This was true. As if something deep inside her, something wordless and instinctive, automatically reached for him in times of trouble, and found him.
She didn’t understand it. Words were supposed to aid communication and yet with her and Aristophanes, they got in the way. They communicated far better in bed than they ever did out of it, but sadly a marriage was about more than sex.
Nell let out a breath, finally giving up reading and watching the sun glint off the water of the pool.
Would it really be so bad being married to him? You’d be looked after financially and that would mean great security for the twins. You’d have all the passion you could stand once the babies are born too. You could insist on a career, he wouldn’t deny you that, and you could even have your own life apart from his.
All of that was true and all of it was attractive. Plus he hadn’t been wrong when he’d said the children would love her. She’d have them, at least. Then again, she didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on them. They didn’t exist to fulfil her need for love. They existed for their own sake and she would love them. This was all, after all, for them.
Still, she wanted a marriage to exist for its own sake too. Not for legal reasons or because she was pregnant. She’d wanted the kind of family she’d lost, the kind of marriage her parents had. She’d been only a child when they’d died, so she’d had no idea what their relationship had been like, but she did remember her mother kissing her father. Her father holding her mother. They’d been happy together, she was sure.
Was it so wrong to want that for herself? After years of being resented for her mere existence?
‘Nell.’
The deep, masculine voice cut through her thoughts, and she jerked her head up, her heartbeat going into overdrive as Aristophanes’ tall figure stepped out of the French doors and into the pool area, striding over to her sun lounger with his usual animal grace.
She pushed her hat back on her head and looked up at him.
He stood beside the lounger, tall and dark, the sun outlining his powerful figure like streams of glory around a god.
You might be in trouble here...
‘What are you doing back?’ she asked, ignoring both the thought and the husk in her voice. ‘I thought you were in Athens all week.’
‘I was.’ His eyes had taken on a familiar silver glitter, making her heartbeat even faster. ‘But I have decided something. I have a gala in London I have to attend, and I wondered if you would like to come with me. I thought we could visit my good friend Cesare in Rome first, then go on to London. Perhaps we could do some sightseeing, if you are up to it.’
A little shock washed through her. He wanted her company? And to introduce her to his friend? That was definitely not about the pregnancy. ‘Go with you?’ she said, a little uncertainly. ‘But I thought I was supposed to stay here. Be on bed rest.’
‘You are not limited to lying in bed, and, in fact, some exercise is good for you. The doctor will accompany us to London.’ He paused a moment, as if thinking something over. Then he went on, a little haltingly. ‘I...don’t wish to go to the gala. I get impatient with social functions and don’t enjoy them. However, it’s important for me to attend and so I would like...your company. We need only stay for a short time.’
Something in the region of her heart tightened. ‘But...why?’ she couldn’t help asking. ‘I mean, why do you want me there?’
Aristophanes’ gaze abruptly became focused and intense, making her breath catch. ‘Because you are beautiful and you are better with people than I am. I want you on my arm, dazzling everyone in a pretty gown and fine jewels, with your lovely smile. I want the entire world to know that this amazing woman is mine and no one else can have her.’
Her heart tightened even more, heat stealing through her cheeks at his praise, a bone-deep longing clutching inside her. To be on his arm in a wonderful gown, the centre of attention at an important party, in London. To be his...
‘Is that what I am?’ she couldn’t help asking. ‘Yours?’
‘Yes,’ he said without hesitation, an edge of finality in his voice that should have annoyed her, because she was no one’s, surely. Yet she wasn’t annoyed. For some reason it reassured her in a way she wasn’t expecting. ‘There will be media there,’ he went on. ‘And no doubt there’ll be some speculation about who you are, but I want everyone to be in no doubt that you’re mine. However, if you’re concerned for your and the twins’ privacy, I can make sure it is protected.’
She swallowed. ‘So...how am I yours? Am I your girlfriend?’
Again, silver flickered in his gaze. ‘What do you want to be? I would prefer you to be my fiancée, but I understand why you can’t.’
‘Do you?’ she asked, searching the hard lines of his face. ‘Do you really understand?’
Aristophanes stared down at her, quiet for a long moment. ‘You want to be loved, Nell,’ he said at last. ‘And yes, I understand why. At least, I think I do. You want what you lost when your parents died, what you never had from your aunt and uncle. And I have to be honest, but I can’t give that to you. I think when my mother left me, something inside me broke, something that can’t be repaired.’
The tightness in her chest gathered into pain. ‘Oh, Bear, I can’t—’
‘Hush,’ he interrupted softly. ‘I haven’t finished. I want to say that while I can’t give you what you want, I think I can make you feel as if you had it. I think I can make you happy.’ A muscle in his jaw leapt. ‘I’d like to try, if you’ll let me.’ His expression was intent, the full focus of his considerable attention turned on her, making her feel breathless. Making her feel as if she were the only person worth looking at in the entire world.