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‘I’m very grateful, Mateo.’
‘Then why are you looking at me as though I’m the Grinch who stole Christmas?’
‘Because it all sounds so much like a business deal...’
Mateo glanced down, lush lashes concealing his expression, making him a closed book.
It did, he privately conceded, but wasn’t this the best route forward—the one that avoided a future that would probably be filled with messy complications? Hadn’t he raced into a youthful marriage because of a pregnancy without foreseeing all the chaos that would result from his hasty decision? Had he and Bianca had that baby, wouldn’t the whole thing have come unstuck in an ugly and predictable way? Yes. And the ugly unravelling of a marriage would always impact a child far more than two parents who liked and respected one another and worked in unison for the good of the child they had created without aiming for what was never going to be achieved.
Mateo knew that he had locked away his heart, just as he knew that it would be unfair to encourage Alice to do the same with hers, which was what would happen if they made the mistake of marrying. For him, marriage would be something that might or might not happen one day and, when that day arrived, it would be a choice made with his head.
Alice deserved better. She deserved to have the best she could find and that would be to marry someone for love and not through necessity.
He thought of her with another man and bit down a rush of jealousy. It was an emotion so foreign to him that he almost didn’t recognise it for what it was.
‘What are you thinking?’
Mateo looked at her thoughtfully. ‘Isn’t that how it should be, Alice? I know we had...a good time for a while but that wasn’t about love. That was about sex. What you want for yourself isn’t to be with a guy you don’t love who is as cynical as you are optimistic...’ He smiled crookedly at her.
Again he felt that sharp pang of something strike deep into his core when he thought of her with another man. It went against all the cool logic that had been the bedrock of his adult life and he refused to let it in for closer inspection. It unsettled him. In his head, vulnerability like that led to love, and love led to loss. He would never invite the possibility of loss back into his life.
‘Of course you’re right, and I’m really glad you’re being so...accommodating about this. I know it’s the last thing you need.’
‘I can arrange for you to have a private scan,’ Mateo inserted in a rough, uncertain voice. ‘Please.’
Alice’s smile was slow and genuine. She would have to face certain facts, however hard it was going to be. He didn’t think she had feelings for him but she did: deep, strong feelings that had wrapped around every bit of her heart. However, he had none for her, aside from feelings of responsibility now. He would take care of her because she was carrying his child, and of course he was right: for her, marriage without love would be awful. So the conventional situation she had always envisaged for herself was not to be...
But hehadcome to terms with impending fatherhood much quicker than she could ever have hoped. Not only that, for him to be so keen on a scan showed that he was facing up to this sudden bomb dropped into his well-ordered life full-on, without trying to distance himself from it. And that was to be celebrated.
A lot of men would have turned their backs in a scenario such as this.
‘Yes, sure.’
‘And then we can really sit down and talk about what exactly happens next...’
The scan was arranged for the following week—a private scan, in a private hospital. As Alice was ushered through to where Mateo was waiting for her, she was afforded a glimpse of life that happened on the other side of the wealth divide. The hospital was quiet and luxurious. There were no trolleys spilling out of corridors and no sense of frantic urgency with patients, nurses, doctors and consultants racing through corridors, white coats flying and noise and bustle everywhere.
Mateo turned around. She paused as their eyes met and he rose to walk towards her. He’d phoned her every day since their last meeting. He’d asked her about her day, how she was, what she’d eaten. Alice knew that his concern was for the baby but she was treacherously becoming accustomed to seeing his name pop up on her phone and hearing the dark, velvety sound of his low, sexy and hypnotising voice.
He’d come from work and was in a suit, a cashmere tan coat draped over the chair next to him. Her heart skipped several beats as he neared her, and just for a few seconds it was easy to pretend that this was a normal relationship, a loving relationship with the man who was to be father of her child.
He gave her a peck on the cheek. If there was any reminder needed that their relationship had changed, then this was it. A peck on the cheek was a far cry from the hot lust that had made it impossible for him to keep his hands off her.
‘This is like a five-star hotel,’ Alice whispered, eyeing the neatly turned out consultants occasionally walking past and the cool, unruffled receptionists waiting to usher them to the right place.
‘No need to whisper.’ Mateo drew back and looked down at her. ‘And it’s a taste of what you’ll be getting used to.’
‘I’m fine with the health care the state provides.’
‘Again, this is one of those non-negotiables. Have you cleared your diary for the day? I’d like to take you for an early dinner so that we can discuss some of the finer details of what comes next for us. Not my club—we can skip that—somewhere more casual.’
‘Yes, I’ve taken the afternoon off.’ Alice was trying to digest the way things had changed between them. They were as polite as strangers. The peck on the cheek had had the sting of indifference. He was no longer attracted to her and the teasing familiarity between them that had built so quickly and effortlessly when they’d been snowbound was a thing of the past.
And this was what she would have to get used to. He generously wanted the best for her, and had approached what had been thrown at him in an adult and thoughtful way. She should be grateful, not quietly devastated.
‘Good.’
It was said in a clipped voice, with polite, unreadable gaze and kind smile. She wondered whether he had moved on from her and was seeing someone else. A bit of background reading on him had told a story of a guy who had a healthy appetite when it came to the opposite sex.