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‘Very funny.’
‘You’re very sweet, Alice.’
‘Is that a good thing?’
‘It’s an unusual thing, at least in my world. In my world, the women aren’t sweet.’
‘What are they?’
‘They’re...experienced. Blushing—which you do so well, might I add—is something they left behind before they hit thirteen. You’re an only child... Where did you grow up—in London? What do your parents do?’
Alice hesitated. For the first time the thought of admitting that her dad was a vicar felt somehow a little embarrassing. She’d had a pretty idyllic childhood all told, but to this worldly guy, who dated experienced women and had had a tragic background, her relatively uncomplicated life might seem a bit dreary.
She laughed at herself for being silly.
‘Well, I was born in a tiny village in Wales, but my family moved to Surrey when I was still quite young.’
‘Quite a culture shock I’d imagine. Did you have relatives there? Did your father get a job transfer?’
‘You could say it was a job transfer, yes...’ She sighed and looked at him a little sheepishly. ‘My dad’s a vicar, you see.’
‘Your dad’sa vicar?’
‘There’s no need to sound quite so shocked,’ Alice said defensively. ‘Lots of people are vicars!’
He stared at her. In the darkness, she could make out the glitter of his eyes and the shadowy angles of his beautiful face. What was he thinking?
‘Makes sense.’ His voice was neutral and his eyes were serious. ‘There’s an innocence to you.’ It was his turn to sigh. ‘This was a mistake.’
‘What?’
‘This...us...making love: a mistake.’
‘Please don’t say that,’ Alice whispered. ‘Didn’t you enjoy it?’
‘Of course I did. But, Alice, like I said, I date women with experience, women who know the score when they sleep with me, and by that I mean women who understand that I’m not in it for the long term. They have no illusions. They’re not looking for any happy-ever-afters with me. I suppose I should have made that clear at some point before we hit the bedroom but...’
‘Why? Why would you have wanted to make that clear?’
Alice forced a laugh, only to find it turning into a genuine one. Hadn’t she just been thinking that she could never fall for a guy like Mateo? Weren’t they on the same page, neither interested in anything but living in the moment? She didn’t regret what they had just done, even though she knew that maybe she should. Or at least maybe she should ask herself searching questions about how she could have jettisoned the part of her that took the sanctity of relationships as given without any thought at all.
She had never imagined that the only guy she dated would be the one she married, even though it had almost turned out that way; but shehadalways believed that a person didn’t just hop in the sack because they happened to be attracted to someone. Shehadalways believed that relationships had to mean something.
‘Look,’ she said firmly. ‘I know what this is all about. It’s about sex. We’re attracted to one another, but there are no strings attached, and I’m not going to be looking for anything once the snow melts and I get out of here.’ She met his brooding gaze and grinned. ‘You’resoegotistical.’
‘What are you talking about?’ he said, frowning.
‘You’re good-looking and you’ve been spoiled. You feel you’ve got to give women a bracing talk on not getting over-involved because you’re a commitment-phobe. You think thateveryperson you sleep with is out for more than you’re prepared to give! You’ll just have to accept that I’m not one of them.’
‘Youarenothing like anyone I’ve ever dated,’ he agreed, gently pushing her hair back and then letting his hand cup her face.
‘I don’t want anything from you.’
‘And I like that.’
‘I certainly would never be interested in any guy who was a commitment-phobe.’
‘Wise game-plan.’