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Mateo raked his fingers through his hair and looked at her gravely as she edged towards one of the chairs and sank into it. He sat facing her and leant forward, arms resting loosely on his thighs.
That scan had changed everything. He and Bianca had married in haste when she had only just become pregnant and there had been no scan. The usual confirmation tests, yes, but no scan at that stage...and then the miscarriage had changed everything. Plus he’d been so young, already tough, but not nearly as tough as he was now. He’d thought about fatherhood, and had known that he would always do the right thing, but the whole concept of a baby and the reality of it had been abstract and woolly—something that would happen down the line.
But seeing that little scrap of life eagerly waiting to enter the world... Mateo had felt the fierce tug of possessiveness that had wiped out all good intentions about stepping back because he didn’t want to pull her into the loveless marriage she wouldn’t want. No. He had seen his baby and in an instant had known that anything less than marriage wasn’t going to do.
It had been naïve to think otherwise but then he was so accustomed to boxing up his emotions that he hadn’t expected to feel the overpowering jolt he had felt in that room. Nothing could have protected him from it, not even the hard veneer he had cultivated over the years. More than anything else, he’d seen that tiny beating heart and had known that keeping Alice safe, keeping their baby safe, would be his lifelong mission, and to do that he would not be able to step back. Detachment was no longer an option.
How could he ever have thought that he could allow another man to enter her life and join in decision making abouthischild’s future? How could he ever have imagined that anyone but him could be involved with this baby of theirs?
He looked at her carefully and knew that, having approached the situation with the emotionalism of a robot, he was going to have to win her over. He’d magnanimously told her that he would be a hands-on father but in the capacity of one who lived a separate life—that she needed to fulfil her dream of finding someone to love and he would give her the freedom to do that.
He was going to do a complete turnaround and already he wondered why he hadn’t gone down this route in the first place. He’d remembered Bianca, remembered the foolhardiness of rushing into marriage for the sake of a pregnancy and then all the attendant problems that had resulted from his hasty, emotional decision. He’d then obeyed his instinct and turned away from making a similar mistake.
But Alice wasn’t Bianca. They might no longer be together, but the relationship hadn’t been poisonous. He and Alice could make a go of it, but he would have to persuade her. Somehow he would have to make her see that there was life beyond love. No way was he going to walk away from the one hundred percent commitment that now beckoned.
‘Well? Are you going to say anything, Mateo? Like I said, I didn’t come to your office because I wanted anything from you. If you’ve had a reality check now that we’ve had that scan, then just come out and tell me.’
‘I’ve had a reality check, Alice.’
‘And...’
‘And this is going to play out slightly differently. We’re going to get married.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
ALICELOOKEDATHIMin shock. The shock was then followed by confusion. Was this the same guy who had, only days before, banged on about the situation requiring a businesslike approach? Since when had marriage beenbusinesslike? Weren’tbusiness dealsmore along the lines of shaking hands and signing a contract?
‘I can see you’re surprised.’
‘Not what I was expecting, no.’
‘Seeing our baby, Alice, brought it forcibly home to me that this isn’t something that can be dealt with the way I would deal with a work problem.’
‘Well, Mateo, you don’t say.’ But her heart was beating like a sledgehammer.Marriage!It was everything she had dreamed of. The guy she loved...their baby...
She had sneaked a glance at Mateo in that small, darkened room and her heart had swelled with love as she drank in the beautiful lines of his face cast into shadows. Then she had looked at the small, living, breathing baby they had created together and the longing for them to be a family unit, arealfamily unit, had been so overwhelming that she’d had to breathe in deeply to control the rush of emotion.
And now, the prospect of marrying this guy was being dangled in front of her like a carrot. She thought of them bringing home their baby, buying stuff for their home together, stuff that wouldn’t be white or include any marble. She thought of them watching telly, going to the shops together, having friends and family to dinner...
When she blinked, what she saw was über-luxury all around her and a man who lived firmly in this world. A world that was a million miles from the dream world she had just concocted in her head. So much about this picture was right but so much more was wrong.
If the promise of normality with Simon had not been enough for her in the end...if she had, in fact, wanted something more extraordinary...then at the very heart of her, she knew that it would only be okay with a guy who truly loved her. What she’d found was extraordinary without the love. She longed for this extraordinary man but with the wonderfulordinarinessof love. In the end, love was what made the small trivia in life oh, so amazing.
Mateo had been moved by seeing his own flesh and blood on that scan, just as she had. Now he was prepared to go a step further and offer her the one thing she knew he would never, ever have offered in any other circumstances: a ring. However much she longed to take that ring and slip it on her finger, how could she do it? How could she turn his world on its head and live with herself? He didn’t love her. Would she be able to cope with that for ever?
How long before they started wandering around this big, palatial house like two strangers bound together for the sake of the child they shared? How long before the isolation of doing the small things on her own began to eat away at all their noble intentions about being united for the sake of their baby? Would either of them be happy?
‘That’s not going to work, Mateo,’ she said gently. ‘Although I appreciate the offer.’
‘I realise this was never your Plan A, Alice, but it makes sense and I should have seen that from the very beginning. Let me get you something to drink: tea? Fresh juice? Water?’
‘Let’s just talk this out, Mateo. No, you’re right, I never thought that I’d be having a baby out of wedlock, for want of a better way of putting it. You know, it just wasn’t something that was ever on the radar.’ She sighed wryly. ‘That along with spending a few torrid nights with a complete stranger.’
‘But now we’re here and I feel that we need to both put our Plan As to one side and consider what’s best for the baby. And that’s both parents on board, married and united in making joint decisions and providing stability and security.’
‘Love is what makes a marriage work, or else it’s just as good for us to live apart and amicably share in this baby’s upbringing. We can like one another and get along without tying ourselves together. We both know the tie would break eventually, anyway.’ She sighed and looked around her, this time more slowly, before resting her eyes on him.
‘That’s not what you said when we were at my lodge,’ Mateo countered with silky assurance. ‘If I recall, you said that you wanted to see where our relationship led when we returned to London.’