Page 189
Suddenly he was gripped by an uneasy claustrophobia. Alice was chatting, moving to the fridge and whipping out stuff to make a meal. In the space of only a few days, she knew the layout of this kitchen as well as he did. Hell, when had that happened?
‘Like I said, things were different with Simon,’ she was saying. ‘Although, in fairness, we pooled our finances. He wasn’t thoughtless, although... Hmm; where do you keep the chopping boards, Mateo? I’m not up to your standard but I can produce something edible from what we’ve got in the fridge.’
‘Alice...’
His voice was raw and he shifted uncomfortably, raking his fingers through his hair, not knowing what to do or what exactly to say, just knowing that he felt threatened, that somehow he had to escape.
She did things to him, stirred things inside him, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t need it. He wasn’t going to start flinging doors open that led to places he’d spent his life protecting.
Alice knew from the driven urgency of his voice that whatever was on the tip of his tongue was going to be something she didn’t want to hear.
‘You’d rather cook yourself.’ She laughed nervously. She knew what this was about; of course she did. She could see it on his face. He’d warned her off and she’d... She only gone and developed feelings for him; only forgotten that this was time-out and that he was a guy who didn’t want her around once they left this bubble.
She felt tears sting the back of her eyes. How could this have happened? She’d thought herself so sorted when it came to what kind of guys she wanted in her life. Had the very nature of her background played a part in what had happened in this hideaway? Had she been so sheltered and so cosseted that she had never developed the truly tough streak that could guide her when it came to men? Surely, if that were the case, then this wouldn’t feel soright? If that were the case, then this would feel like lust, instead of which it felt like...
She lowered her eyes and breathed in deeply, then she looked at him without flinching.
‘This is beginning to bore you, isn’t it?’ she said quietly.
‘This is beginning to...become too complicated.’
‘Why?’
‘Do I need to have a reason?’
‘No.’ She could feel her heart hammering inside her and her limbs were turning to jelly.
‘You deserve a reason,’ he said roughly.
‘I guess by “complications” you mean you think I’m getting too attached.’
‘Aren’t you?’
‘Because I offered to cook a meal for us?’ Alice cried, hands on her hips as she glared at him.
Dismay and downright terror at the thought that she really had serious feelings—loved him, even—made her fight back. He didn’t want her. He might stilldesireher, but he no longerwantedher around. They were getting a little too comfortable with one another. Alice steadied her breath. What was wrong with getting comfortable with someone? Teetering on a tightrope of confusion and indecision, she took the plunge. Being open, honest and truthful was always the right way to be. She’d been taught that. It was embedded in her DNA.
‘We get along,’ she said with driving sincerity. ‘Don’t we? Or am imagining that?’
‘I never said we didn’t.’
‘And the sex is great, terrific...the best. At least for me, and you seemed to enjoy the times we spent in bed making love.’
‘Again, ditto.’
‘Then why are you so scared that this is complicated? It’s straightforward, Mateo.’
‘Alice, you don’t get it.’
‘What we have could be something really good, really special! Don’t you feel that as well? I mean, I’m not saying that we’re going to end up walking down the aisle together or anything...’ She laughed nervously again but actually, in her head, she was toying with the seductive notion of this beautiful man asking her to marry him. Her heart fluttered. ‘But we could do it justice by seeing where it leads, don’t you think?’
‘Alice, I was married once before.’
Alice opened her mouth, closed it and stared at him in utter shock. The thought that he might have been married hit her like a bolt from the blue. She shuffled over to one of the chairs by the table, flopped into it and continued staring at him, open-mouthed.
‘What happened?’
‘What happened was a divorce,’ Mateo ground out, ‘after a short, unfortunate time together.’
‘Like I said, things were different with Simon,’ she was saying. ‘Although, in fairness, we pooled our finances. He wasn’t thoughtless, although... Hmm; where do you keep the chopping boards, Mateo? I’m not up to your standard but I can produce something edible from what we’ve got in the fridge.’
‘Alice...’
His voice was raw and he shifted uncomfortably, raking his fingers through his hair, not knowing what to do or what exactly to say, just knowing that he felt threatened, that somehow he had to escape.
She did things to him, stirred things inside him, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t need it. He wasn’t going to start flinging doors open that led to places he’d spent his life protecting.
Alice knew from the driven urgency of his voice that whatever was on the tip of his tongue was going to be something she didn’t want to hear.
‘You’d rather cook yourself.’ She laughed nervously. She knew what this was about; of course she did. She could see it on his face. He’d warned her off and she’d... She only gone and developed feelings for him; only forgotten that this was time-out and that he was a guy who didn’t want her around once they left this bubble.
She felt tears sting the back of her eyes. How could this have happened? She’d thought herself so sorted when it came to what kind of guys she wanted in her life. Had the very nature of her background played a part in what had happened in this hideaway? Had she been so sheltered and so cosseted that she had never developed the truly tough streak that could guide her when it came to men? Surely, if that were the case, then this wouldn’t feel soright? If that were the case, then this would feel like lust, instead of which it felt like...
She lowered her eyes and breathed in deeply, then she looked at him without flinching.
‘This is beginning to bore you, isn’t it?’ she said quietly.
‘This is beginning to...become too complicated.’
‘Why?’
‘Do I need to have a reason?’
‘No.’ She could feel her heart hammering inside her and her limbs were turning to jelly.
‘You deserve a reason,’ he said roughly.
‘I guess by “complications” you mean you think I’m getting too attached.’
‘Aren’t you?’
‘Because I offered to cook a meal for us?’ Alice cried, hands on her hips as she glared at him.
Dismay and downright terror at the thought that she really had serious feelings—loved him, even—made her fight back. He didn’t want her. He might stilldesireher, but he no longerwantedher around. They were getting a little too comfortable with one another. Alice steadied her breath. What was wrong with getting comfortable with someone? Teetering on a tightrope of confusion and indecision, she took the plunge. Being open, honest and truthful was always the right way to be. She’d been taught that. It was embedded in her DNA.
‘We get along,’ she said with driving sincerity. ‘Don’t we? Or am imagining that?’
‘I never said we didn’t.’
‘And the sex is great, terrific...the best. At least for me, and you seemed to enjoy the times we spent in bed making love.’
‘Again, ditto.’
‘Then why are you so scared that this is complicated? It’s straightforward, Mateo.’
‘Alice, you don’t get it.’
‘What we have could be something really good, really special! Don’t you feel that as well? I mean, I’m not saying that we’re going to end up walking down the aisle together or anything...’ She laughed nervously again but actually, in her head, she was toying with the seductive notion of this beautiful man asking her to marry him. Her heart fluttered. ‘But we could do it justice by seeing where it leads, don’t you think?’
‘Alice, I was married once before.’
Alice opened her mouth, closed it and stared at him in utter shock. The thought that he might have been married hit her like a bolt from the blue. She shuffled over to one of the chairs by the table, flopped into it and continued staring at him, open-mouthed.
‘What happened?’
‘What happened was a divorce,’ Mateo ground out, ‘after a short, unfortunate time together.’
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