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And there she was: Alice.
She was chatting in a group, jigging about merrily and laughing.
Mateo drew in a sharp breath and remained standing where he was, framed in the doorway but not immediately noticeable in the dim room crowded with so many people—a huge turn-out for a popular teacher.
The door was angled in such a way that someone would have had to twist round to make him out, and no one was doing that. Everyone was too busy having a blast. At least thirty-five people were there. Most were dancing and there was a lot of laughter, talking and screeching.
Watching, Mateo felt as though he’d been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer, because what he saw on Alice’s face was absolute joy, and that absolute joy was something he hadn’t seen for a long time. He’d seen abandon when they’d made love, and appreciation for his thoughtfulness when they’d gone out for meals or visited the house they’d be sharing.
But thatabsolute joy? No.
He pushed himself into the room, feeling as out of place as he’d felt in a long time. She instantly spotted him.
In the middle of turning to fetch herself some more of the nibbles on the table, Alice stilled. The last person she had been expecting to see was Mateo.
She’d become so used to guarding her feelings around him, hiding her love because she knew that it wasn’t returned, because she wanted to protect herself as much as she could. She stole glances at him when he wasn’t looking, like a thief stealing a cache of gold to be inspected later in privacy, but she made sure to school her expression when she was with him. She couldn’t let all her defences slip. Where would that leave her? As helpless as a turtle deprived of its protective shell.
He’d asked very few questions about the leaving party and she’d got the impression that he hadn’t been all that interested. Why should he have been? she’d asked herself impatiently. The leaving party didn’t involve the baby. The leaving party involvedherand he wasn’t interested enough in her to ask for details.
He came alive when he touched her, and his eyes lit up whenever they rested on her swollen stomach, proof positive that it was the baby he wanted. But otherwise he was kind, unfailingly attentive but keen on keeping some distance. Physical distance...no. Emotional distance...yes.
At least, that was what it felt like to Alice.
She drank the remainder of her lemonade, knowing that he’d been spotted from the awed reaction from everyone, and walked towards him. The conversation which had stopped for a few seconds picked back up again around her as she propelled her way forwards.
‘What are you doing here?’ was the first thing she asked when she was standing in front of him. ‘I thought you said that you were going to be working late this evening.’
‘Thought I’d surprise you, join in the fun. Are you disappointed that I’ve come?’
Alice hesitated. Disappointed? How could she ever be disappointed to see Mateo? He thrilled her to the bone. He looked sexy as hell, indolently leaning against the door frame, staring down at her in ways that made her whole body feel as though its primary mission in life was to fire up in readiness for him.
It was such a frustrating reaction that she reddened and scowled. ‘Surprised. Come on through.’
She began turning away, but then saw that he wasn’t immediately following suit, so she reluctantly turned back round to look at him.
‘Wait. I... I don’t want to interrupt your good time, Alice.’
‘Why did you come, Mateo?’
‘I came because...’
‘Did you want to see how the other half live?’
‘Of course not,’ he said shortly.
‘There are no waiters and waitresses here with great platters of expensive food and there’s no champagne. Everyone put money into a kitty towards the food. Sarah, the dinner lady, did the spread. And we all brought some alcohol and soft drinks, and James is the DJ for the evening.’
‘Why are you getting hot under the collar? Have I said anything about coming here because I wanted to seehow the other half live?’
‘No, but you weren’t exactly very interested when I told you about this leaving do.’
Alice heard the hurt petulance in her voice with dismay. She was punishing him for not taking the sort of interest in her that she wanted him to, seeing his surprise arrival here as patronising rather than interested, and she was ashamed of the pettiness.
So far she hadn’t involved herself in his social life, although in fairness he had invited her to an opening only a week before. Mateo might have come from a rough background, might have had to fight tooth and nail to get where he had, but now that he’d got there he blended in with the highest echelons of society as though he’d always belonged there. He knew how to do that because he didn’t care.
Hormones suddenly seemed to surge through her. In a rush, she felt self-pity for having fallen for a guy who didn’t return her love, and for her own blasted body, which reacted to him mindlessly every time he was within a metre of her. It all seemed hopeless as she stared down the barrel of a future of want, need and love, too much for her to contain but with nowhere to go.
She thought of how her life was going to change and it was really the first time she had given this thought house room. She would no longer have this cheerful crowd of friends around her every day. She would be mixing in a world that was going to be very different, and she had a moment of panic that she was just never going to be able to fit in.