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“Theo, please, it’s not safe!” Ben’s voice is raw and harsh—begging, pleading, terrified.

The only reply Theo can give is, “I love you, Ben.”

Hearing this causes my shadows to falter, but I pull them back out and focus. The smoke is not as thick in the office area, but it appears to be coming from the utility room in the back, close to where the cats are housed. On Theo’s first day of work, Aileen told him that some newer shelters have an emergency button that will open all the kennels at once, but she also said that this building is so old–and the shelter program itself is so under-funded–they have never been able to install one here. Theo will have to open each kennel manually on the way back to the cat room. I can only hope the dogs will have enough sense to run outside, where Ben is waiting. I walk ahead of Theo, moving my hands in a series of sinuous, twisting motions that create a small air pocket around us.

“Can you push the smoke up and away from the kennels?” Theo asks as we come into the long room lined with chain link gates. The dogs are going berserk, barking and howling and yelping, throwing themselves against the gates. I do my best to force the smoke away from the animals, but more and more of it pours into the room by the minute. The dogs’ terror and confusion seeps into me, making control over my powers even more difficult. I only want them to be safe. I only want Theo to be safe. I cannot be the reason even a single one does not make it out alive, so I redouble my efforts.

“Alright, guys, it’s ok,” Theo reassures the dogs as he moves from side to side, jerking the latches up and swinging the doors open. Some of them are too afraid to leave their kennels, and Theo must go in to grab them, then put them down in the corridor and hope they run in the right direction. There are thirty-three dogs in the building, if I remember correctly, and I try to keep track as we move, but the sound of Theo’s labored breathing and coughing jar my focus. I must get him out of here quickly.

“That’s the last one!” he finally calls, as a big husky-mix named Bear tears out of his kennel and races toward the front door. “Now the cats. I’m going to need your help on this one, because some of them can’t walk on their own.”

“I must use my hands to direct the magic!” I reply, tears stinging my eyes. I do not know if they are from the smoke, or from my own fear. Theo’s face fills with worry. I cannot allow him to see my weakness. If I can only figure out where the fire is coming from, perhaps I can quell it before it becomes worse. But as I reach out with my powers, listening for the call of the flames, I only feel a tiny whisper.

My powers have faded. My human emotions, my love for Theo and Ben, my attachment to this world–it has dulled my magic to the point where I cannot even protect the very people I care about. I go deeper, pulling out more shadow, more darkness, but not delving so deep that I awaken Annoth. Theo goes to the door leading to the cat room and puts the back of his hand up to it. He seems to think it is safe, because he wrenches it open, but more black smoke billows out. I throw myself in front of him, fanning my wings out to push it away, trying to save whatever is left of my power.

Theo holds his breath as we enter and find the cats wailing, scratching, and yowling for help. I stand in the center of the room, pushing smoke away as quickly as it seeps from beneath the utility room door at the back. Theo begins opening the cages of the cats who can get out of the building on their own, but the real problem is the two females with litters of small kittens. He looks around and spots a pile of towels, sheets, and pillowcases on a shelf.

“The dogs are all out!” says a loud voice behind us. I turn to see Ben standing there, a wet rag of some sort tied around his own face, his chest heaving and eyes wild as they fall on the tendrils of shadow enveloping my body. I cannot look at him. I cannot lose both of them to my own failure, so I turn away and focus on the smoke.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Theo asks, grabbing several of the pillowcases.

“There’s thirty-three dogs, right? They’re all outside and relatively contained. The fire trucks are on their way. What now?”

Theo looks like he might cry and tosses Ben a pillowcase. “That cage there! Female cat and five babies!”

Ben rips the cage open and unceremoniously stuffs the angry mother cat into the pillowcase, then gently starts grabbing the kittens and dropping them in too. I feel the pressure behind the utility room door building rapidly. The fire is inside, but I cannot snuff it out. Fear once again grips my body, causing my shadows to flicker and nearly die.

“We must go!” I cry. “It is getting worse!”

Theo is trying to hurry, but Mama Cat, who apparently gave birth to seven kittens last night on her own, is not having it. She spits and hisses at him, leaving several large gashes on his arms before he manages to grab her by the scruff and stick her into a pillowcase by herself.

“Take her and go!” he says, thrusting the yowling animal at Ben. “I’ll get the babies!”

Ben seizes the pillowcase, but shouts, “I’m not leaving you!”

The fire has expanded. It is growing, devouring—building like a stormcloud. I can hardly even hold back the smoke now, but I dive down one last time into my well of magic, calling up my own flame, my own essence, from Hell itself. I will protect them at any cost, even if that cost is my own existence.

“You both need to run!” I scream turning to face them. “Now! Please!”

Theo drops the last newborn kitten into another pillowcase, and his face falls when he looks up at me. I can only imagine how monstrous I appear as I spread my wings and arms, tail whipping and fangs bared. Everything seems to move in slow motion. The wall at my back melts away with the force of the explosion, and I release the mass of dark power I have called up, suspending the rush of flames in mid-air, holding it at bay. My body trembles with the effort, my breaths coming in harsh bursts. I am slipping, faltering, so I tear my eyes away from Theo and turn to face the flames.

“Annie! You have to come with us!”

“Go, please!” I call over my shoulder.

With a ferocious cry, I push the fire back. It licks around the edges of my wings and across my arms, where black veins creep beneath the pale skin. This darkness I called upon to save them will consume me. There will be no escaping it. I have summoned the powers of Hell, and now they will answer in kind. With one final, almighty roar, I force the explosion to go sideways into the rest of the building, instead of straight ahead, then fall to my knees. Smoke swirls around me like a cocoon, and then Ben is there, grabbing my shoulder with one hand while still clutching the pillowcases in the other.

“Annie, we have to go! Please!” he begs,but then I see the shadows. They are different from my own–darker, sharper, more sinister. I am about to pay the price for what I have done. The tendrils reach straight up through the floor, wrapping around my wrists and ankles. I do not have much time. I stand and turn back toward Theo and Ben, tears pouring down my face and sobs choking every word I wish I could say.

“They are taking me back,” I manage to tell them. “I am being recalled. You must go. It is not safe.”

“No!” Ben cries, grabbing my upper arm. A sudden flame erupts around my body, and he is thrown back into Theo, who uses all his own remaining strength to hold onto him. They watch with horrified faces as my human form melts away, blue flames replacing flesh, smoke replacing hair, embers burning away my eyes, until I am nothing but fire in the shape of a winged woman. The hellish shadows continue threading around me like ropes.

“Annie…” My name comes out of Theo’s mouth in a ragged whisper.

“Thank you,” I murmur, moving closer to them and putting a fiery hand out. My fingertips flicker like candles, but I know it will not hurt him, so I place my palm on Theo’s chest, over his heart. “Thank you for showing me what it means to love, and to be loved.”

“No…” Ben pleads. I reach out to caress his neck, then brush away tears, which vanish in puffs of steam. “I’ll bring you back, Annie, I’ll find a way, I swear.”