Page 101
Story: Love & Other Atrocities
“Ben…” I whisper, “talk to me.”
“She saved us,” he mutters, “and they fucking punished her for it. God knows what they’re doing to her right now, Theo. I can’t fucking stand it. I just want her back. I promised her I wouldn’t let this happen, and what did I do? I just fucking stood there.”
I just write a note that says,NOT YOUR FAULT.
It doesn’t seem to help though, because his body startsto shake again as he cries. All I can do is run my fingers along his shoulders until the medicine in the IV sends me into a heavy–thankfully dreamless–sleep.
When I wake up, the first thing I hear is my mom’s voice, so I keep my eyes closed. I can hear Molly and Dad too, and the anxiety flares in my chest. Where’s Ben? Did they make him leave? Did he get into an argument with them? Is he alone? Is he safe?
“No,” Mom is saying, in what Molly and I call her ‘teacher voice’, “I amnotgiving them an answer until Teddy wakes up. Tell them to go to Hell.”
“Beth.” Dad’s admonishment is gentle, and I can sense that he’s sitting in the chair beside my bed.
“Just wait for Ben to come back,” says Molly. “He can talk to them.”
“I don’t think that boy’s in any fit state to talk to anyone,” Mom replies softly. “He was practically sick worrying about Teddy when we got here. Poor thing.” I feel her hand slip through mine and finally open my eyes.
“Where’s Ben?” I ask, my voice still barely audible. Mom lets out a small gasp and they all crowd around the bed.
“Oh, Teddy, how do you feel?” she asks.
“Like I got hit by a truck,” I tell them, and Molly laughs a little. “Where’s Ben?”
Mom and Dad exchange a look, but Molly answers.
“He was getting really restless, so Tabby took him out on the lawn to kick her ball around a little. I have his number now, and I told him I’d call as soon as you woke up.” She raises one eyebrow at me, then flicks her eyes over to Mom and Dad. It’s a signal that I take to mean ‘tell them the truth now, before it becomes painfully obvious when he gets back’. Dad pats my lower leg and gives me a tense smile.
“Proud of you, Teddy,” he says gruffly.
“John!” Mom exclaims. “He almost died!”
Dad just chuckles. “That’s why I’m proud of him, Beth. He put his life on the line to help animals who couldn’t help themselves. That’s the kind of man we raised him to be, right?”
Mom just grumbles and pushes some hair out of my face.
“I have to tell you guys something,” I say, trying to keep the lump in my throat from overwhelming my already shaky voice.
“We’re here, sweetie,” says Mom, taking my hand. I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment, picturing Ben’s face, his smile, the way he looks at me. He’s worth it.We’reworth it. No matter what happens.
“Ben isn’t my roommate,” I tell them, and Mom frowns, “I mean, not anymore. He was, that’s how we met, but now he’s…we’re…we’re together. We’ve been together for…a while, and I love him.”
Mom has a tiny, momentary breakdown and puts her arms around me, but I just watch Dad’s face, which is so impassive that it makes me anxious. His eyes wander up to Molly for a moment, and she gives him a look that could kill. He’s quiet as he glances over at the window, then at Mom. Finally, he sighs and reaches out to give me another gentle pat, this time on the hand.
“Proud of you,” he says again.
The tears flood back and I let out the breath I was holding. “You…you’re not upset?”
“Oh, honey, of course not!” Mom cries, holding my face between her hands. “You really think we’d disown you for being gay after your sister got pregnant out of wedlock at nineteen?”
“Hey!” Molly laughs, and Mom grins at her. I try to laugh too, but it just turns into a cough, and Mom passes me a cup of water from the bedside table. I take a drink, then allow myself a small chuckle as Molly hugs me too.
“I fucking knew it,” she whispers in my ear.
“Oh, and I’m, uh…I’m not actually gay,” I tell Mom. “I’m…bi. Bisexual. Just so you know.”
“What’s that mean?” Dad asks. Tabby suddenly appears at his elbow, holding her soccer ball and grinning.
“It means he likes boysandgirls, Papa,” she chimes in. “Don’t you ever go on the internet?”
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