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“Molly, I swear, it’s not—” The denial dies in my throat as we watch Ben try to fend off Tucker’s last ditch attempt at a goal. All I can do is sigh, “I promise…”

“He’s sweet,” Molly murmurs. “He reminds me of Gabe.”

“Yeah, he does,” I reply, and we both fall silent. Tabby’s game ends a minute later and she races over to us, flushed withher team’s victory.

“Hey, great game, Tabs!” I tell her as she jumps back into my arms.

“Are you coming to lunch after Mass tomorrow, Uncle Teddy?” she asks. “I want to show you my school project! It’s a diorama about arctic foxes!”

“I’m not sure about tomorrow, but I promise I’ll be there sometime very soon.” I pretend to drop her and then hoist her back up several times while she laughs. It’s an effort, and I realize I need to get back to the gym. Ben limps back over to us, dark curls sticking to his forehead with sweat. I hug all the kids, then the three of us say goodbye to my parents and Molly in the parking lot. Once Ben, Annoth, and I get back into his car, he pulls his shirt up and slaps his stomach.

“Whoo, I’m outta shape,” he pants. “Theo, maybeyouneed to start cooking so I don’t eat as much.”

I want to assure him that his body isanythingbut out of shape, but just give him a withering look instead. “I can cook just fine, thank you.”

“That sounds like an offer, doesn’t it, Annie girl?” Ben says with a smirk. It appears I’ve been reverse psyched into making dinner.

“As long as you make it spicy,” Annoth replies.

“Fair enough,” I laugh, but then we start to drive and a strange heaviness washes over me. “But I don’t want to go home yet…if that’s ok.”

Ben exchanges a glance with Annoth. “You’re the boss.” He takes a left out of the parking lot and drives us in the opposite direction of the city.

“Where are we going?” I ask tentatively after a few minutes with only Ben’s music playing.

“You trust me, right?” he says, and I can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Do you trust me enough to tell me about Molly too?”

My body goes completely still. “What…about her?”

“About why you told usthat she’s a single mom, but she wears that Patron Saint of Widows…”

The silence in the car is deafening. I can’t believe I was dumb enough to think Ben wouldn’t notice Molly’s necklace, or that he wouldn’t ask about it. It’s the topic I’ve been avoiding for weeks in all our little ‘counseling’ sessions, so I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I answer.

“Gabe,” I murmur. “His name was Gabe.”

“Tell me about him,” Ben says gently.

“He was like…the older brother I never had. My dad is great, but you saw how he is. All stoic and detached. Gabe was…everything. I swear, he was a literal angel.” In the backseat, Annoth snorts softly and Ben throws her a dirty look. I keep going, knowing that if I stop now, I won’t be able to talk about him at all. “Molly met him when she was nineteen and, much to my parents’ displeasure, got pregnant with Tabby just a couple months after. She and Gabe got married not long after that. I was still in high school and having a bit of a hard time, so I really just attached myself to Gabe. I looked up to him so much. He was kind and generous, smart, patient, fun, an amazing father and husband—everything I wanted to be.”

“Everything youwantedto be?”

“Gabe’s death…it’s part of the reason Ros and I broke up,” I explain, looking out the window as we leave the suburbs and start to climb up into the piney hills. “It was a little over two years ago. Tabby was hanging out with me and Ros for the day, and the twins were with Mom and Dad. Molly and Gabe took the boys to the beach, and they each had a couple friends with them. Thomas and two other little boys, they got caught in a nasty rip tide and pulled out. Molly said that Gabe didn’t even hesitate. He jumped in and somehow got out to them, without even thinking about it. Luckily, they’d all had swim lessons, and they were wearing floaties, but…there were no lifeguards, and the currents and rip tide were so bad that the beach patrol couldn’t get to them quick enough. Gabe…just wore himself out trying to keep them afloat and calm. The boys all survived, and…I’m the one who had to break the news to Tabby.” I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder and look back to see Annoth, her black eyes wide and shining. On instinct, I reach over and take her hand.

“God, I’m so sorry, Theo,” says Ben. “I can’t even imagine what that was like. How did it affect what you and Ros had?”

“Before Gabe died, Ros and I both wanted to have kids someday,” I tell him. “We’d talked about it plenty of times, never changed our minds. But…after that, I realized I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t imagine having to make that kind of choice. Save my own kid or someone else’s? Save myself, because my family needs me, or save someone else’s kid? Save my own kid but not myself, leaving my wife alone? Justthinkingabout the idea of having kids sent me into full-blown panic attacks. I did some therapy, and that helped with the panic attacks, but it didn’t change how I felt. It was just one of those things that…I wanted, but I’d never really thought aboutwhyI wanted it, or what the real implications were, you know? I love Tabby, I love all Molly’s kids, and I wanted to have a family with Ros, but…I had never actually considered the reality of it.”

“I understand,” Ben murmurs.

“So…I told Ros that I’d changed my mind, that I couldn’t give her what she wanted anymore. There’s no room to compromise when it comes to something like that. I didn’t want her to give it up just for me and then just be buried in resentment down the road.”

“That was the bravest thing you could’ve done,” Ben tells me, his voice quiet with sincerity. “I can’t imagine what kind of strength it took, but you saved a lot of people a lot of pain by being honest about what you wanted. That’s…not an easy thing.”

I look over at him and the only words I can find are, “Thank you.”