Page 50
Story: Love & Other Atrocities
“Oh, how wonderful!” Bethany exclaims. “And Annika, what are you planning to study here?” My body trembles slightly, but I stick to the script Ben gave me earlier when we were in the gas station.
“Languages,” I tell her in my false accent. “I hope to teach English back at home someday.” That answer satisfies Bethany, who chatters to both of us for a while about her own teaching job while Theo moves over to talk to his sister. Ben takes the lead on the conversation, allowing me some respite, and I try to figure out what is happening on the field.
Most of the children do not appear particularly skilled at the game, but they are enjoying it, laughing and joking with their teammates and even their opponents. I look around at the families gathered on the sidelines and see people of all shapes, sizes, and colors, talking together and enjoying each other’s company. Parents assist one another with their children, older siblings supervise younger ones, people share food and drinks with neighbors, or help elderly family members find a shady place to sit. Across the field, two girls throw a stick for a large golden dog, who licks their faces and bowls them over in its enthusiasm.
I turn my faceup toward the mid-morning sun and close my eyes, listening to the happy, excited voices, and the calls of the birds in the trees. I do not even notice that my breathing has changed until Ben pulls me away slightly, and we walk back toward the car.
“I cannot go too far from Theo,” I remind him.
“I know, don’t worry, but you seemed upset,” Ben says softly. “Everything alright?” He steers me behind the restroom building and I lean against the wall.
“I cannot do this,” I tell him, my voice shaking.
“Why? What is it?”
“Everything…” I murmur, “everything I have ever been taught. Everything I have ever known…it was a lie.”
“Everything about humans?”
“Humans, and your world, and sin!” I say, then try to lower my voice. “This place is wonderful, Ben! These people are wonderful!Youare wonderful! And I…I cannot understand it! If everything here is so…good, then why…why do I even exist? Why does my world exist? What am I?”
To my surprise and annoyance, Ben lets out a soft chuckle and puts his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into him. I rest my head against his neck and breathe in his scent.
“Annie,mi amor, this isn’t what the real world is like,” he says gently. “This is clean, safe, suburban, middle-class America. I…I’m not sure how I can really explain it, but this…this isn’t reality. The world really can be as awful and dark as they told you, and humansarethe ones who make it that way. I’m sure most of the souls you tormented with flaming whips or whatever probably deserved it.”
I sigh loudly and bury my face into the spot between his neck and shoulder, wrapping my arms around his back. “And what about you?”
“Oh, no, I really am this wonderful all the time,” he laughs, pulling away and grinning, then kissing me lightly on the nose. “And if it prevents you from having some sort of demonic existential crisis,I’ll show youallthe true crime channels when we get home, alright?”
“Thank you,” I murmur. “How do you think Theo is feeling? He seems to be doing better.”
“He just needs to face it head-on,” Ben says. “Get through it, and then the three of us can sit down and…try to figure out what the fuck is going on here.”
“What if…what if I do not want to go back…to the Seventh Tower?” I say quietly. “What if I want to stay here? With you?”
“Well,” Ben says, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, “I did promise myself to you, body and soul, if we can get you and Theo separated.”
“And if we cannot?”
“I’m not sure.”
“If I do not complete my mission, I could be recalled,” I whisper, and my body floods with something that might be fear.
“I won’t let that happen,” Ben murmurs, “and if they do take you, I’ll come down there and get you back. I’m keeping you, Annie, come Hell or high water.”
“What does that mean?” I ask with a laugh, but before he can explain, his phone makes a noise and he pulls it from his pocket.
“Theo’s asking why we threw him to the wolves and vanished,” he chuckles. “Better go rescue him. Come on, sweet Annie.” He kisses my hand and leads me back toward the soccer field. Theo watches us and I sense an increase in his anxiety through our connection.
“What’s going on?” he asks Ben quietly while his family is distracted by the game.
“Annie was just having her own little panic attack over how nice and perfect your family is,” Ben explains with a grin. “I told her we’d make up for it by letting her watchDatelineorSnappedwhen we get home.”
“NotSnapped,” Theo says vehemently, looking alarmed. I smile at him and his expression softens, then Ben puts his hand on Theo’s shoulder.
“She’s actually doing well, and your family is great,osito. Very wholesome. Although I’m almost positive your dad has killed people with his bare hands.” Theo laughs at this and begins quietly telling Ben a story about his parents. I cannot help thinking about what Ben said, that he would come after me if I were recalled. It is nonsense, of course, but the fact that he said it—the fact that he might care for me enough to face all the unknown horrors of Hell—I do not know how I could deserve it, or him.
Shortly, Theo’s two nephews, Thomas and Tucker, appear on the sidelines with their own soccer ball. Once we have all been introduced, Ben challenges them to a game, and they take him to an empty field nearby, where he removes his leather jacket and attempts to defend the goal against their attacks. The twin girls, Trinity and Taryn, decide they would like to play too, and Ben quickly becomes overwhelmed by the little tyrants, but he never stops smiling. A small bloom of warmth expands in my chest as I watch the four of them run him down and knock him into the grass, then pile on top, screeching like imps.
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