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“Can…can I help you, Father?”

He gives me an indulgent–beautiful–smile, showing off a pair of deepdimples that make my–Fuck! Knock it off, Theo! He’s a priest!

“Are you Mr. Keating?” he asks. “I’m Father de la Cruz. We spoke over email last night about your…urgent matter.” He puts his hand out and I shake it out of habit, but not without noticing how his sleeves are rolled up.

“Father, I-I’m not really sure…” I stutter, trying to peel my eyes away from his forearms.

“Of course,” he says, and actually takes a step into my apartment. “Of course, you aren’t sure. This must be quite a terrifying experience for you. I’m so sorry you’re going through it, but I’m here to help.” He sets down a duffel bag and looks around. I can tell he’s trying to contain his judgment about the state of my apartment.

“I’m…I’m not really understanding…”

He takes a business card out of his pocket and hands it to me. “My fees and accepted methods of payment are on the back.”

Oh. My. God.I pull out my phone and open my sent emails. Right there, at the top, is a brief conversation between me and Father Benjamin de la Cruz, requesting exorcism services at his earliest availability ‘as a matter of some urgency’. Who the fuck talks like that? I didn’t send these emails. They were written at 3am. I was asleep on the couch!

Shall we get this over with?says the voice in my head. I almost jump out of my skin, and Father Benjamin looks a little concerned.

“Is everything alright, Mr. Keating?”

“I-I…need…just a moment, please…before we start, I guess.”

“Certainly. I’ll set up my things.” He crouches next to the duffel bag while I stumble to the bathroom, lock the door, and turn the fan on.

“What the fuck, Annoth?” I hiss out loud. “You hired an exorcist?! A real exorcist? I didn’t even think that was athing anymore!”

While you were asleep, I took the liberty of contacting him,she purrs.Come now, Theodore. This will be the easiest way for us to be rid of each other.

“What?”

I cannot complete my mission with you in your…current state, and I cannot be recalled back to the Seventh Tower except under extreme circumstances. Father Benjamin will exorcise me and I will be on my merry way, never to trouble you again.

When I’m finally able to control my breathing, I mutter, “I guess…that makes sense. Are you sure he’s a real priest though? I’ve never met one that looks…like that.”

Tsk tsk. Contain your lustful thoughts about the Father, please, Theodore. Unfortunately, I am not here to make you commit sins of the flesh.

“I’m not…that’s not…” I shake my head. How is this my life right now? “Ok, fine. What do I have to do for this to work?”

Pay him the money and do what he says.

I flip the card over and think I might be sick. “Six hundred dollars?! That’s extortion!”

Annoth gives a loud sigh.Theodore, my pet, as much as I have enjoyed our time together, we must end this. Pay the priest and get on with it, or I shall make your life very difficult indeed. I may not be able to take full control of your body or mind, but there are other things I can do.There’s a terrible scratching sensation at the back of my head, and I grit my teeth against it.

“Ok, fine! Just stop doing that, for the love of God!”

The Almighty has nothing to do with this, I assure you, Annoth laughs. Before I have time to consider any of that in more detail, I hear Father Benjamin’s voice in the hall.

“Mr. Keating? Is everything alright?”

“Yes!” I call back, then flush the toilet and run the sink for a minute before I emerge. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Well,” says the priest with a smirk. A very attractive smirk. “I’m afraid I need to ask you some questions first, and…I require payment up front.”

“Uhh…sure.” I go to my bedroom dresser and fish my emergency stash of hundreds out of the sock drawer, count out six of them, and go back to the living room. Father Benjamin takes them and stuffs them into his pocket, not bothering to count.

“When did the signs of demonic activity begin?” he asks, taking a pen and a small notepad out of his bag.

“I guess…maybe two days ago?”