Page 82
Story: Love & Other Atrocities
“I think I might, yeah,” Theo replies, peering over at the area where the animals are being kept. There are about a dozen small cages on top of tables on one end of the room, which hold a number of cats, and on the other end is an area with dog kennels. “Maybe just one though, not a pair.”
“Why don’t I take you over and we can do some introductions?” Jaime asks. Theo glances at Ben, but Mak steps between them.
“I want to show Ben something first, and then I’ll bring him over!” she says eagerly. Jaime and Zayd take Theo through the little fence to where the cats are, and I keep my eyes on Theo to ensure we do not move so far apart that I am pulled back into his body. Right now, I want to stay with Ben, and away from the animals. Besides, I can see that Mak has something important on her mind by the way she plants her hands on her hips.
“Ben,” she says sternly, “you’re gonna tell me the truth.”
“What truth?”
“How did youactuallymeet Theo?”
Ben sighs, but keeps smiling patiently. “Come on, Mak. You know what happened to me. I was living out of my car, and Theo was advertising for a roommate. I needed a place to stay. We liked each other. That’s the truth.”
“Fine, I’ll buy that,” she says, then she motions at mine and Ben’s hands, which are clasped together again. “But…this?”
“Well, Annie was hanging around because Theo’s family is hosting her,” Ben says, “and…same story. We liked each other.” He kisses my hand the same way he kissed Theo’s, and Mak’s eyebrows shoot up into her hair.
“So…you’re all together? With each other?” she asks hesitantly. “Like a…poly thing?”
“Sure,” Ben says with a shrug. “Look, Mak, it’s a thing where I really care about both of them and I’m serious about this. I promise, I’m not gonna hurt Theo. I’m getting my shit back together, alright?” When Mak looks at me again, I just give her a sweet smile.
“Ben, you know I’m the last person to judge,” she says, softer now. “I’m glad you’re happy, especially after everything that went down last year. I just wanted to know what’s going on in case I have to run interference.”
“Run…interference?” Ben asks.
Mak lowers her voice. “Well, Niko’s here…”
Ben’s face goes taut, and I remember that Niko was the man he slept with, causing him to be removed from the priesthood. I tighten my grip on his hand.
“Is this a bad thing?” I ask quietly.
Ben runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “Mak, can we get a minute?”
“Yeah, of course.” Mak leaves us and goes over to where Theo and the others are standing near the cat enclosures. Ben turns, but doesn’t look me in the eyes, instead scanning the crowd carefully over my head.
“After Niko and I slept together, everything in my life crashed and burned pretty fast,” he explains. “I was laicized, so I had nowhere to go, I didn’t have much money, and my family wasn’t speaking to me. My sister and her husband offered to help, but I was being self-destructive and stupid and I wouldn’t accept it. I didn’t want to leave town, because of myabuelita, so I was either couch-surfing or living out of the car and…I was drinking a lot, scamming people, making fake IDs just to be able to buy food and gas, stuff like that. It wasn’t good.
“Niko started calling me a few days after we slept together, and I just…ghosted him, because I was dealing with so much. After a few months, I finally got to the ‘anger’ stage of grief, and I called him back one night while I was drunk. I yelled at him, cussed him out, told him it was his fault, that he should’ve turned me down that night, that he shouldn’t have…taken advantage of me being drunk. I said some really horrible things to him, Annie.”
“Oh…” I murmur, unsure of how to reply. “Have you apologized?”
“No,” Ben says. “I haven’t spoken to him since, and he hasn’t tried to call me either. I was so ashamed, and I didn’t think he’d even want my apology, so I never tried.God-fucking-damnit! This is not what I need today. This is not what Theo needs.”
“Does he know about this?” I ask, leaning to the side so I can see Theo, who is smiling and cradling a large, gray cat in his arms. Ben follows my gaze.
“No, he doesn’t. I hadn’t really had a reason to tell him yet.” He runs a hand over his face and groans softly.
“It will be alright.” I put my arms around him and try to give a reassuring hug, but his anxiety and tension is almost palpable.
“Come on, let’s just…go help Theo, and then maybe we can get some drinks and I can explain things to him,” he says, taking my hand again and leading me through the small gate into the fenced off adoption area.
I balk as we approach the cats. “Ben, I do not think this is a good idea. Remember how Dante and Virgil were?”
“Well, hey, you’ve changed a lot since then,” Ben says with a small smile. “This might be a good test.” He keeps his grip on my hand and pulls me between the tables to where Theo is now holding a scrawny brown cat with massive green eyes and a pink nose. Mak stands beside him, scratching the animal’s ears.
“He’ssosweet, Theo, and I really think he’d benefit from being the only animal in a house for a while since he was pulled out of a bad hoarding situation,” she is saying. “I love him because he can’t really meow. He just chirps and makes a funny sort of screaming noise. When he came to us, he had a really tight ingrown collar, and the vet thinks it damaged his vocal cords.”
“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Theo asks us as we approach. Ben reaches out and pets the cat on the head, but Theo appears slightly nervous when I move forward. I hope Ben is right, that I have changed enough since Dante and Virgil were around. Perhaps this is a chance for me to show Theo. The brown cat’s ears press back on his head when he sees me, and he shrinks into Theo’s arms slightly.
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