Page 7
Story: Love & Other Atrocities
“Where did you learn that word?”
I–I watched the television last night after you fell asleep. The history of the war amongst the stars is quite intriguing. I thought I might learn something from it.
I burst out laughing. “Oh my God, you watchedStar Wars? That’s not real! It’s fiction, entertainment, made-up stories…”
These are not historical records of your planetary system?
“No!”
And so…Anakin Skywalker was never the glorious leader of a vicious and sadistic empire?
“Definitely not,” I laugh, shaking my head. How crazy must I look right now, having a conversation with the voice in my head aboutStar Wars?
That is…disappointing,Annoth mutters.
“If you want to learn about brutal dictators, the earth has had plenty of real ones,” I tell her.
Well, when you retire tonight, you will leave the television on a film about one of them, so I may learn more.
“I’m not falling asleep watching a movie about Stalin, ok? If you want moreStar Wars, though, there’s plenty of it. Movies and shows.”
You enjoyStar Warsvery much, I see.
I shrug. “Yeah, well, what’s not to like? For me,Star Warsis like pizza: when it’s good, it’s really good, and when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”
I do not understand these words, but…how many of the films feature Anakin Skywalker?
It’s crazy, but I wonder if I can use her interest inStar Warsto distract her from messing with me and reach for the remote.
“If you want more Anakin, you’re gonna have to watch them all in order from the beginning, including the shows,” I say, switching to my streaming channels. “Which ones did you watch last night?”
I began with the–No! This is not part of my mission! Are you prepared to obey me now?
“Nah,” I say with another shrug, scrolling through the movies on the screen. There’s a burning sensation behind my eyeballs and I can hear some kind of rumbling in my head, but I ignore it. Bantering with the demon hallucination is one thing, but I’m not giving into her little tantrums, so I put onEpisode IVand settle in with my Lucky Charms. She’s quiet for the first fifteen minutes or so, but then the growling noise in my skull returns.
“What’s the problem?”
I would prefer a film featuring Anakin Skywalker.
I let out a loud sigh and go back, then selectEpisode I. “This one is about him as a kid, is that acceptable?”
A long pause.Yes, that would be acceptable.
I play the movie, and she’s silent again for a long time. So long, in fact, that I almost forget she’s there. All I’ve wanted to do since Ros left isStar Warsfor some reason, especially since she never cared for it. My own petty little revenge, I guess. She supported my obsession, but she preferred stuff likePride & PrejudiceorBridgerton. That’s what I get for falling in love with an English teacher. I try to lose myself in the movie and enjoy the silence in my head, but I can’t help wondering if I actually have gone crazy this time. The idea of having myself committed flits across my mind for a second, but that also causes a flare of anxiety that hits my chest like a bolt of lightning. The burning sensation inside my body intensifies and I swear I can feel somethingmovinginside me. It reminds me of the restless leg syndrome I used to get in as a kid, like I’m not fully in control of my muscles, like there’s tiny flames dancing just under my skin.
“Is that you, Annoth?” I ask warily.
Yes. I thought perhaps your emotional state was changing.
Got it. She’s like a bloodhound, sniffing for emotions. She probably felt my little burst of anxiety. If she’s even real. Which is insane. I shake my head and toss the empty box of Lucky Charms onto the side table, then try to focus on the movie again, but I’m startled by a loud knock on my front door.
“What the hell…” I mumble, turning to look. “Who the fuck is that?”
Annoth lets out a low, threatening laugh in my head.You left me with little choice, Theodore. I had to take action. Answer it.
“What does that mean?” I stand up and walk slowly toward the door. It better not be Ros. She said she would call before coming over. My apartment isn’t fit for human habitation. I can’t let her see this. She’ll call her sister, who is best friends withmysister, who will tell my mom, who will show up unannounced and start cleaning and lecturing and…I’m breathing too hard. Holy shit, am I actually anxious about answering my own door? I pull the anxiety back inside myself, remembering how Annoth reacted to it a few minutes ago, then look through the peephole.
“What the fuck…” I whisper, then the realization hits me. “Annoth…y-you didn’t call apriest, did you?” The man on the other side of the door is about my same age, but shorter and stockier, wearing a black shirt with a clerical collar. His skin is a deep brown, and his curly black hair is slicked back with gel above a five o’clock shadow and an arched nose that looks like it’s probably been broken several times. This man cannot be a priest. He looks like if Pedro Pascal and Oscar Isaac had a baby. I grew up Catholic and I’veneverseen a priest that looks like this, but…goddamnit, what is wrong with me? Without thinking, I unlock the door and open it.
Table of Contents
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