Page 42

“You have a right not to talk about it, Theo. Remember, you don’t always have to do what other people want. Ros will be ok, and if you ever decide that you want to talk about it, you can reach out to her.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” There’s a long pause, and I notice how Ben’s gaze keeps pulling over to me, then darting away. I try to diffuse the strangeness by asking, “Is that really your theory about Annoth? That she cares? That she has feelings?”

Ben sighs. “You were vulnerable tonight. I think she could’ve taken control while you were weak, emotionally speaking, but she didn’t. Shesaidshe didn’t want to hurt you, and she left your body–voluntarily.”

“Yeah, but…couldn’t it all just be a ploy?”

“I guess it could,” Ben says with a shrug, “but I think she’s more human than you give her credit for, and that people don’t do things without a reason.”

“What’s your reason?” I ask. “For staying here? For doing all this?”

“Well, youdidblackmail me,” Ben says with a grin, “but…my favorite Commandment always was that one about not lying, and I’ve been doing a pretty shitty job following it lately. So, let me tell you the truth tonight: I’m doing this because I like you, Theo. I like being around you, I admire you, and I think you’rea good person. That’s why I’m still here.” My heart starts back up again, hammering in my chest, and I’m suddenly, painfully aware of my nakedness.

“Well, thank you,” I say weakly. “I’ll…try to find a way to pay you back sometime. For all of it. Any other truths you need to get off your chest while we’re here?” Ben stands and turns, picking up the comforter from the bed and shaking it out so it covers my legs. He’s avoiding my eyes, and I can’t help but feel anxious as he takes a deep breath to speak.

“I…I don’t like Luke Skywalker…” he says, looking deadly serious.

“Get out,” I laugh, pointing at the door.

“Oh, come on!”

“No, it’s alright. I knew you’d be more of a Han Solo guy anyway. I guess you can stay.”

Ben just shakes his head, picks up the empty water glass, and leaves the room. He comes back a minute later with it full again and sets it on my nightstand.

“Is Annoth out there?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go talk to her. You get some sleep.”

“Ben,” I call out as he leaves the bedroom, “don’t do anything stupid, please.”

He just gives me another grin. “Never have, never will.”

20

Annoth

Ben startles me whenhe returns from the bedroom and says, “Annie,mi amor. Theo’s in bed now, calmed down. What’s wrong? You look–”

Something about the softness and concern in his voice fills me with anger.

“Why do you ask me this?” I nearly yell, jumping off the couch and facing him with my clenched fists. “Why do you call me these things? Why do you pretend as if I share the weakness of your human feelings?”

Ben puts his hands up, a frown twisting his face. “I’m not pretending anything. I’m just…asking a question. It doesn’t always need an answer. It’s how we check up on each other.”

“I do not need to be checked up on!” I seethe, fury burning through my limbs and coming out as blue-tinted flames in the palms of my hands. The lights in the apartment flicker and go out, my shadows consuming any remaining pinpricks, plunging us into darkness. Ben’s eyes widen, but he takes a step toward me, hands held out flat in front of him.

“I’m not afraid of you, Annie, as much as you want me to be. The shadows, the fire, the anger…it doesn’t scare me.” He takes another step, and I release the shadowy tendrils from my body, sending them flying out to wrap around his legs, arms, and neck. He stiffens, but doesn’t fight, doesn’t struggle.

“Youshouldbe afraid,” I hiss. “I could cause you such agony that you would beg for death! I could tear you apart and put you back together so many times that you would welcome the flames of the next world!” I move closer, tightening the shadows around his throat, creating sharp points and digging them into his groin and spine. His face twitches in pain.

“Dance with me,” he murmurs when I am standing only a foot away.

I stop, and my shadows falter. “What did you say?”

“Dance with me,” he says again, “and I’ll show you what it means to trust someone.”

My shadows slither down his body, flickering across the floor as he takes a deep breath and puts his arms out again. I stand still, my body locked in a vicious battle with my instincts. I want to be near him. I want to dance with him, kiss him again, commit any number of sins with him, but I cannot move. I can barely breathe as he approaches me, then reaches into his pocket and takes out his phone. The music begins and he sets it down, then takes my hand and lifts it up so the flame in my palm dances between us like a candle. A single, slow piano and a woman’s lilting voice echo around us, singing of places and things I do not recognize. Ben’s fingers cradle mine, blue Hellfire throwing his beautiful face into sharp relief, then he raises his other hand and holds it over the flame. Pain flickers in his eyes as he slowly moves his hand down.