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“Still might not be enough,” I say, and she remains silent.

“It’s too fucking quiet,” Ben grunts after a minute.

“I’ll putClone Warson,” I mutter. We’ve worked our way throughStar Wars Episodes IV, V, andVIfirst, thenEpisodes IandII, and we’ve been watching theClone Warsanimated series all week. Even though he won’t admit it, I think I have Ben hooked. Annoth too, because they both perk up a little when I get up to find the remote. Just as I do, however, my phone startsbuzzing on the counter. Annoth peeks at the screen and her eyes widen, then she looks up at me with something almost resembling pity.

I can’t move, or breathe as I ask, “It’s Ros, isn’t it?”

Ben wipes his hands on a towel and picks my phone up. I’m terrified for a moment that he’s going to answer it, but instead he brings it to me and holds it out.

“Answer it and just say ‘Hey Ros’. Nothing else. Neutral, flat, disinterested. Alright?” He sets the phone on my palm, face up, then hovers his finger over the button that will answer the call. “Ready?”

I nod weakly and croak, “Yes.”

“Keep your eyes on me,” he murmurs, then slides the button to answer. His warm fingers close around mine, lifting the phone up to my ear and holding it there, standing only a few inches away. His gaze is so intense that I almost forget to speak.

“Hey, Ros,” I manage to say, although I’m not sure how neutral my voice sounds. There’s a brief pause.

“Hey, Teddy,” she says softly, and I nearly crumble. She’s the only one who calls me that other than my family. Ben apparently senses this and shakes head a little, then makes a motion that I take to mean ‘deep breaths’.

“Let me guess, you want to talk to the boys?” I say, and Ros gives a quiet, polite laugh.

“I was actually calling about that,” she says. “I finally found a place to live back home, so…I’d like to come get them…if that’s alright.”

Panic floods my brain. She can’t come over. Not with Annoth and Ben here. Not with me looking the way I do. The apartment isn’t as bad as it was, but it’s still a mess, and so am I. Ben raises his eyebrows and nods, mouthing a response for me to repeat.

“Uhh…when?” I stutter.

“Well, I know it’s super last minute and I’m sorry, but I’m actually on my way into town right now. I left a few boxes at a friend’s apartment and…I just thought…”

“Right now…” I repeat breathlessly. My knees are shaky and the edges of my vision start to go black. Ben grips my fingers tighter and puts his other hand on my upper arm, squeezing so hard it actually hurts. The jolt of pain pulls me out of my spiral just long enough to finish the conversation.

“Is…is that alright?” Ros asks. “Are you busy? Vi told me you lost your job right after…well, she told me what happened and I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know what else to–”

“I’m not busy,” I say quickly, repeating the words Ben is mouthing. “Just come over.”

“Thanks, Teddy,” Ros says, “and…thanks for taking care of my boys. You know how much they mean to me.”

“Yeah, I know.” Before I can say anything else, Ben pulls the phone gently away from my ear and hangs up. My knees buckle, my vision blurs again, and before I know it, I’m sinking toward the floor. But he catches me. His arms wrap around my back and his chest presses against mine. His lips are so close, I could kiss them…if I wanted to…not that I do. He guides me over to sit in the armchair and when he moves away, I want him to come back. Nothing in my life feels solid right now besides him.

“You did great,” he tells me. “Now, how much time do we have?”

“I dunno…maybe twenty minutes…maybe an hour,” I mutter. “Not sure how far away she is. I should’ve asked…I’m sorry.”

Ben stands up and looks at Annoth, who is sitting at the counter looking supremely bored.

“Alright, Your Highness,” he snaps at her, “off your ass. Let’s get this place cleaned up.”

“Excuse me? I am not a maidservant.”

“If you got time to lean, you got time to clean!” Ben cackles.

“Shecannotbe out when Ros gets here,” I tell him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stick her back in her enclosure and lock the door,” he says, winking at me. “You just sit and chillout. Annie,vámonos!”

She slides off her chair with a grumble and takes the trash bag he hands her, then stands there rolling her eyes as he zooms around the main living area, picking up trash and piling dirty clothes on the couch. I sit, holding my head in my hands and trying not to slip back into a panic attack.

This cannot be happening. Not now. I thought I had more time before things became so permanently…over. I guess I thought as long as the cats were still here, there was a tiny chance Ros might come back. That she might realize how much she missed our little family and our life together. Now, that tiny chance seems infinitesimal at best.