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Ben beckons me into the shower with them, but I ask Theo, “Will you be alright?”

His eyes soften and he nods. “I’ll be fine. Maybe…get rid of the tail though? It’s a little cramped in here already.”

I wave my hand to make my clothing–and the tail–disappear, then step into the stream of hot water. It is a tight squeeze with all three of us, but I do not think anyone minds. Theo is in a better mood than I have seen him since I arrived, his cheeks flushed and blue eyes bright as Ben runs a soapy washcloth over his body.

Warmth blooms in my chest, but I try to shove it down. It is only a few more days until Ben’s friend arrives to attempt another exorcism, and I do not know what will happen then. I ought to enjoy this life, and these two sweet men, while I can. I ought to be enjoying the human emotions that will likely be stripped from me when I return to the Seventh Tower.

But I watch the way they laugh and talk and touch each other, and I wonder if they will forget me once I am gone. Will they be sad for a few months, mourning the life we might have had together, then move on? Humans area remarkably resilient species, capable of withstanding unfathomable trauma. Just how deep will my absence cut them? They will still have one another. Losing me will not tear the two of them apart, I can see that now, but it only makes my despair more overwhelming.

My sole consolation is that, without me, they will both be safe from Annoth. There will be no threat hanging over their heads, no lies to tell their families, no need for Theo to keep his emotions in check. Their lives will be simpler, and I cannot stand the thought of it. A deep well of anger bubbles up inside me and tears prick my eyes. Ben is focused on washing his own body now, but Theo seems to notice my distress and touches my elbow.

“Annie?” he says softly. I quickly turn toward the stream of water and put my face beneath it, pretending to clean myself.

“Will you wash my back?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He picks up the washcloth, then squeezes soap onto it. Ben moves past us and stands in front of me, rinsing himself off and splashing me playfully.

“You alright,mi amor?” he asks when he notices that I am not responding how I normally might.

“I am ready for bed,” I tell him with a faint smile.

“God, I know,” he laughs. “You two finish up, I’m gonna go change the sheets.” He kisses my cheek and exits the shower. Once he is gone, Theo collects my long hair and moves it over my shoulder.

“You can tell me the truth, Annie,” he says after a few moments. “Ben’s the sweetest, but he’s a bit clueless. I know something’s bothering you.”

I sigh deeply, letting my body sag. “I am afraid.”

“Of what might happen with this exorcism?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” Theo murmurs. “I wish…I wish there was another way, but Ben hasn’t found anything, and if we’re being honest, I just don’t know about his theory. You and her…splitting apart, physically. I hope it’s true. I hope it works. I don’t want to lose you.”

I turn to face him, and he settles his arms around me, tucking me against his chest and resting his chin on my head while the hot water caresses my back. We have not been this close in weeks, and as much as I would like to simply enjoy it, I am on my guard for Annoth.

“I will do anything to protect the two of you,” I tell him, “and I am not afraid of what might await me when I go back. But…I am afraid you will both forget me when I am gone.”

“Annie, sweetheart,” Theo laughs, “how the hell could we ever forget you? Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.” I pull my face away from his chest and look up at him.

“May I sleep between the two of you tonight?” I ask. “Do you think that would be safe?”

“I think that would be fine,” he murmurs, brushing a strand of wet hair out of my face and kissing me on the forehead. His gentleness brings tears back to my eyes, but I drop my head to his chest again so he does not see them.

I cannot sleep. Even cradled between Ben and Theo, with their arms draped over me and their fingers clasped together on my hip, I cannot find peace. I watch Ben’s face as he sleeps, his dark curls spilling onto the pillow, lips twitching as he dreams. Even now, he grins–ever the optimist, the one who believes things will work out, the one who pulls us back together when we fall apart. I do not deserve him, but I desperately want to keep him anyway.

Slowly, I roll to my other side and brush my fingers over Theo’s jaw. He always looks just a little tense when he sleeps, with a small furrow between his eyebrows. It is so difficult for him to let go of his worries, of his fears and anxieties, even at rest. I hoped I could be a soft place for him to land—a safe harbor in the storm, a warm kiss after a long walk in the cold. I know Ben will be all those things for him if I cannot.

After nearly an hour of chasing sleep with no satisfaction, I carefully slip out of the bed and go to the living room, where I open a window and sit beside it. I can just barely see the full moon hovering over the roofs, and take a deep breath before I speak.

“I know that I should not be asking anything of you. I am…not one of your creatures. I was born to darkness and fire, not meant for this kind of light, but I have found it nonetheless, and…I do not want to go back now. Ben tells me that love endures all things, and that these are words fromyourholy book, so please…tell me what I must do. I will give you anything–endure anything–to stay with them, to have this love. Please…”

I wait for a few minutes, listening for any kind of reply, but I am met with an unending, suffocating silence, which I fill with my own tears.

The following Saturday evening, Ben sticks Theo and I in his car with absolutely no warning and drives us across town to another dingy-looking bar with a small crowd inside. He tells us to get a drink and sit down, so we do, but then he vanishes. I ask Theo what is happening, but he does not seem to know. Ten minutes later, the curtain pulls back on a tiny corner stage, where several men in Green Day shirts, like the ones Ben wears, are setting up instruments.

“Oh…oh God,” Theo mutters with a tiny laugh.

I frown at him. “What is it?”