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“Let’s get you and the kitchen cleaned up.” I come around and help her onto her feet again. She pulls Ben’s shirt over her head and uses it to wipe off the counter, which I desperately want to bend her over now that she’s completely naked. But then she kneels to clean the floor and looks up at me with a hungry smirk.

“You have had your breakfast,” she says, slipping a finger into the top of my sweatpants and tugging them down. “I would like mine now.”

28

Annie

Once the shower isas hot as it can get, I step inside, savoring the feeling of the scalding water running over my skin. If I could choose one thing from the human world to take home with me, I think it would be water. I do not mind the heat of Hell, but it is bone-dry, and I have fallen in love with the delicious, enveloping feeling of the shower. The steam swirls around me and I run my hands through it, wishing I could manipulate it as I do with my shadows.

But this only makes me think about the way my shadows behaved in the car. It was an intense moment, and I still do not have an explanation for why they would not obey. Theo’s words from last night come back to me. When I said that I am nothing but flame and shadow, he said he does not think that is trueanymore. Does he truly believe I could become something else? Something with a purpose other than inflicting agony? Something…good?

I twirl my hand through the steam again and try to sense the way the water droplets move through the air, calling out to them with my magic, but it is no use. My power was made to summon other parts of me, my flames and shadows. Nothing more. I tilt my head back and allow the water to run over my hair too, trying to put it all out of my mind. Misusing my magic could get me recalled, and I am desperate to find a way to stay, even though I know it is improbable at best. If Ben does return, the only way for me to remain here would be for us to fulfill the deal we made, and I know that Theo will no longer trust either of us if he learns of that arrangement.

No, the only way I can spare them both is to make my peace with it and enjoy whatever time I do have left. I would rather spend an eternity suffering the consequences of my failure than cause either of them more pain than I already have.

“Annie?” Theo calls, knocking gently on the door and shaking me from my reverie.

“Yes! I am nearly done.”

“I made breakfast…real breakfast.” The hint of cheek in his voice is quite endearing. For all his quiet seriousness, there is another side to Theo when he allows himself to let go. Another thing I will miss once I am gone.

Once I am finished washing, I step out and use a towel to dry my body, then recreate my much-too-short shorts, and one of Ben’s band t-shirts, altering it slightly so it fits my body like a glove and exposes my arms. I use shadows to tie my wet hair into a knot on top of my head, then check the mirror. I chose this particular form because it aligned with human female beauty standards, but now…I think I am becoming quite attached to her.

She is beautiful, but she also looks like a person–someone with hopes and fears and dreams. Someone who enjoysStar Warsand spicy food and walking in the park. Someone who could fall in love…maybe. I shake my head and turn away. Those are things I can never have, no matter how badly I want them, and no matter how much pretending I do with Theo and Ben. I may no longer wish to hurt them, I may be willing to suffer for them, but I cannot be what they want me to be. My time in this world is limited, and I must not allow myself to forget it.

Theo has made bacon, as well as something he calls ‘French toast’, so I sit at the counter and watch as he sprinkles powdery sugar on top of the thick bread slices, then soaks them in sticky, brown liquid.

“Is it…spicy?” I ask tentatively, and he laughs.

“Not at all. It’s very sweet, but you might like it.”

“You are sweet, and I like you.”

He snorts, “That was cheesy.”

“I thought it was sweet? I do not see any cheese.”

“No, it’s…oh my God.” Theo leans on the counter and covers his face with a hand. “It’s just an expression. It means…cute? But in a way that’s sort of…over the top…”

“I do not understand,” I say with a shrug, then take a bite of the toast. It is sticky and warm, but not awful. I still prefer the food Ben makes, which is so spicy I can feel it awakening the Hellfire in my chest, but I eat as much of the toast as I can in order to make Theo happy. He eats slowly and quietly. I think there could be something on his mind, but I am still so unsure when it comes to human emotions.

“Ben texted me back,” he says after he clears his plate and drops it into the sink. “He said it’s a good thing he’s already near a hospital because the photo nearly sent him into cardiac arrest.” He smirks, and I laugh, but there is something else. “He also heard back from that one last friend…one of the priests he contacted–about the exorcism. I think his name is Robert.”

“And?”

“He’s willing to do it, but…it could be a few weeks before he can get out here. He lives in another state.”

“Ah,” I say, and my shadow-heart flutters in my chest, “well…this is good, yes? This is what you wanted.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Did Ben say if he will return soon?”

“No, he didn’t say. He’s back at the assisted living place again. It looks like he spent the night at a hotel nearby. A really nice one.”

I raise my eyebrows. “What do you think he is doing?”

“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore,” Theo sighs. “He held up his end of the deal. As long as I get contact information for Robert, in case Ben…disappears.”