Page 44
Story: Love & Other Atrocities
“Theo, I know what this appears to be, but I swear that–” she starts to tell me, her eyes wider than normal.
“I told you to leave him out of this!” I say loudly, and Ben stirs on the couch. “I told you to leave him alone!”
“Theo, listen to me!” Annoth says in a strained voice. An almost-human voice. “Nothing happened! He slept, and I watched television!”
“Don’t lie to him, Annie,” says Ben’s steady voice. He’s sitting up now, twisting his hands in front of him.
“Don’t lie to me about what?” I ask, my chest heaving as I try to figure out what they’re about to tell me. “Did you talk me down from a panic attack, then come straight out here and fuck her?” My voice rises, along with my heart rate, and I try to breathe deeply. I can’t have another attack right now. I can’t miss Tabby’s game and let her down again. Ben gets up and walks over to the kitchen, standing on the other side of the counter.
“No, Theo, that’s not what I did. I came out here and she was upset. We talked, and we danced, and…we kissed. That was it. She just didn’t want to be alone all night.”
“I promise,” Annoth says, “he is telling the truth.”
“Yourpromises mean nothing to me,” I spit. She actually looks hurt, but I turn to face Ben. “I have to go to my niece’s soccer game, but…I think you should be gone before I get home.”
“Theo, no!” Annoth begs. She looks so sad, I almost take it back. “I swear we did not–it was…it was my fault! Do not make him go!”
“Oh, I’m sure it was,” I sneer. “You couldn’t control me when Ros was here, so you wanted to get revengesome other way?”
“No! No! I wanted…I just…I-I do not know…”
“She just wanted to feel human, Theo!” says Ben, coming around the counter and putting a hand on Annoth’s shoulder. “She wanted to feel close to someone, just like I’ve been telling you.”
I look between them, and think about the way she’s been acting, especially this last week. She’s been quiet, almost sad, and then there’s the thing she said to me right before Ros arrived, wondering what it would be like to be loved. I didn’t think much of it yesterday, being so distracted, but now I have to ask myself–is it possible that Ben’s right? That she wants to change? That shecanchange? How much am I risking if I take her at her word?
“Is all that true?” I ask, and she takes a small step toward me. She’s so fucking beautiful, but that’s all part of the trick, isn’t it? Like a predator that uses an attractive lure to catch its victims. I grip the edge of the countertop hard.
“Yes,” she murmurs. “I have been…experiencing something different, during my time with you, and Ben. I do not know how to describe it, but…I do not want it to be over. Please, Theo.” She takes another small step, sliding her hand over mine, and I realize I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say ‘please’ before. She’s begging, pleading with me, and the sincerity in her voice cuts me to pieces. I want to believe her. God help me, I don’t know why, but I desperately want it to be true.
“I’m really running very late…Annie,” I mutter. She drums her fingers on my hand and smiles. “But…why don’t we all sit down and talk about this later?”
“I understand.”
“I can drive you,” Ben offers. “If…if you’re ok with that…”
He’s not the type of person to try and hide his feelings out of pride, and I can see that he’s sorry by the look on his face. How can I not forgive him, after everything he’s done for me? After I was literally just trying to imagine ways to get him to stay, how could I make him go?
“I’d appreciate it, yeah.”
His face splits into a relieved smile. “Sure. You go shower, I’ll make some quick food.” Annoth grabs the box of Lucky Charms and puts it back on top of the fridge before turning to Ben and beaming.
“You said you would teach me to make scrambled eggs.”
I rush through a shower and then impulsively decide to get rid of my beard too, since I have more time to spare with Ben driving. Being clean-shaven again is a bit weird, but it also feels like another little piece of closure. Plus, I don’t want to listen to my Dad’s commentary on it. Once I’m dressed and look relatively respectable, I go back to the bathroom for the hair pomade. I liked the way it looked when Annoth did it the day before, so I stick my head out of the bathroom to see if she would do it again. She’s standing in front of the stove holding a pan of scrambled eggs and a wooden spoon, with Ben standing behind her, his hands on her hips.
They’re both relaxed and smiling. She laughs and he kisses her on the cheek, gives her butt a light tap, and goes to the fridge. I thought I’d feel jealous, especially after what Ben admitted to me last night, after all the tension between us, but I don’t. In fact, if I had more time to open that particular can of worms, I might walk in there and squeeze myself between them, just to see what it feels like.
“Stupid,” I mutter, and go back to fixing my hair. When I’m finished, I come out to find Ben filling a few tortillas with eggs, leftover hashbrowns, shredded cheese, and salsa, then wrapping them in tinfoil. He’s finishing off the last one while Annoth stands in front of the mirror behind the front door, frowning in concentration as she changes her outfit in little puffs of shadow.
“That one, for sure,” Ben says to her, running his eyes appreciatively over the ultra-short navy tennis skirt, white sweater, tights, and thigh-high boots she’s created
“You’renotmeeting my parents dressed like that,” I tell her. I’m mostly joking, but she looks slightly miffed and waves her handagain. Now, she’s wearing a black lace lingerie set that should be illegal on a body like hers.
“Would this be more appropriate?” she asks in a fake, sugary-sweet voice as heat floods my body. “Please, Theodore darling, teach me the ways of humans.” She rolls her eyes and switches back to her previous outfit, lengthening the skirt by only an inch. Ben comes out from the kitchen and playfully punches my arm.
“Hey, keep being a dick and maybe she’ll put it back on,” he says with a feral grin. “Do I have time for a quick shower?”
I nod and sit down to grab a burrito, but before I can even unwrap it, my phone starts to buzz. It’s Molly.
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