Page 85 of This Blood That Breaks Us

“Yes! And interestingly enough, they agreed to keep the information away from Ezra. I don’t think the queen and Sirius trust him anymore.”

“Ezra is Her right hand.”

“I know, that’s why it’s weird.”

“What did they say about this ‘source’?”

“That he was eager to find them. He wants to find our location, and they’re going to give it to him.”

“Huh.”

“We need to be prepared.”

Thane bounced around our room like Kilian might walk in the door any minute. I almost felt sorry for him. At the same time, I was impressed he had this much mental stamina, but I knew better. If it were true and Kilian was coming, what would it change? Could Kilian gather enough people to flood this place and take us down? For all I knew, he might just kill us this time.

“How?”

“We should tell Luke.”

“No, do not tell Luke anything.” I sighed, pushing my hands through my hair to work it in place.

“Why?”

“Because he’s suffering enough as it is. He already hates it here. I don’t want to give him false hope. We don’t tell him till we know something for certain. I don’t know if he can take another disappointment.”

“Right. The bond. I get it. I’m . . . sorry about the tunnel.”

He’d already apologized about a hundred times since then.

“It’s not your fault.” It was just us. It was our fate.

“I won’t tell Luke. But Will won’t help. He’s too preoccupied. But you have to know, someone is coming. We have hope. If I hear anything else, I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks. And Thane . . . be careful.”

His beard was getting longer, but he had the same dimpled smile. “Always am.”

Gods, it’s me again.

I’d lost count of how many mornings I’d spent on my knees in the old church. I was supposed to be praying to Her, and sometimes, I did, but mostly, I stared at the old mural and tried to think of something else. Sirius was watching me, though.

“What do you feel?” he asked.

“Uh. I feel . . . ”Like my knees are wearing a hole into the floor.“So devoted. And reverential and shit.”

“You’re still resisting.”

The church shit still wasn’t my thing. Some days were easier than others. I felt the thing Sirius wanted me to feel at times, but only on certain days, and it wasn’t exactly an otherworldly experience. It was lust pooling in my gut for Her.

“A little. My chest hurts.”

“I don’t want to hear about your brother again.”

“I’m saying it’s hard to concentrate.”

“It’s because you haven’t given anything. Give me your wrist.”

I sighed and held out my arm, and in less than a second, he bit me. It hurt, probably because he wanted it to, and when I went to yank my arm back, he held onto my forearm. It wasn’t worth a fight. He was stronger. Something eased in my chest,and I lost the tension in my shoulders. He was taking everything. Emptying me like a well, and I let him.