Page 31 of This Blood That Breaks Us

“This is stupid.”

“Can you take this seriously?”

“Come on. I’m sitting on my knees on this dusty floor in the cold, staring at what might be the creepiest fucking painting in the world. I’m being as serious as I can. This is me giving effort.”

He grabbed my hand and placed it on the ominous dried blood on the floor.

“Listen. Don’t talk.”

I decided to try because I had nothing else better to do. And because I felt bad William was outside waiting for me to pray to a wall.

I thought of Her. Focusing first on the way She looked. Her soft long white hair. What it would feel like to comb my hands through it, finding my way to Her hips. Her thighs. Her lips. What it might feel like to brush my fingers across Her bare stomach and up to Her chest. If this was praying, it felt like a sin to want Her like I wanted Her. It was easy not to think about it with all the changes, but there in the silence, it was absolute. I let out a breath and thought of how She made me feel. Like shit. Angry. Unwanted. Maybe I wanted Her to look at me like She looked at Luke.

Darling.

I stumbled back. “Wait, what was that?”

“Relax.” Sirius steadied me. “It’s alarming at first. But you’ll get used to the strangeness of it all.”

I scoffed. “You say that like this is going to be happening again.”

“We will come every morning before the sun is up to pray. To ensure we keep on The Divine Path. When we pray, we invite The Divine into our bodies and minds. It gives Her strength. It gives us purpose.”

“Oh fuck. That sounds terrible. I’m going to pass on that one.”

Sirius smiled as he got up and dusted off his clothes. “You say that like you have a choice. This task is nonnegotiable, I’m afraid. When I’m gone, I need to know this place will be maintained and taken care of. Prayer is an important part of maintaining a bond with Her and keeping the strength of The Guard and our family.”

“Again, lucky me.”

Sirius stayed smiling. I think I was growing on him.

So what if I wanted Her? Dante didn’t think lust was that big of a deal anyway.

Dear Luke,

Everything is weird now. It’s so cold. I’ve always been one of thosecold is better than sweatingoryou can put on layers, but you can’t escape the heattype of guys. Well, I’m not too proud to say I was wrong. The cold here is intense. Is it cold where you are? I know you’d get on to me for being dramatic for the fact I’m writing these letters like I’m freaking William Shakespeare and then burning them in the fireplace when I’m done. But it’s the only thing that makes me feel like you’re going to get them somehow. Fireplace magic likely? Probably not. But neither were vampires, so I’m holding out for a miracle here.

I don’t like when they sit on my dresser.

Tell Zach I’d write him letters if he’d actually read them. Someone’s gotta be the cool, tortured one in this family. And though Aaron tries, he’s cursed with blond hair. Cool, tortured bad boys don’t read letters from their little brothers, so tell him I get it. Guy has a reputation to uphold.

I’m probably too old to miss you this much, but I don’t care.

P.S. My chest still hurts. And I saw two dogs today.

Love you forever,

Presley

Seven

Luke

I lost track of the days. It was easy to do since we weren’t allowed any technology and Ezra and Sirius made sure we were busy at all hours. It took days of planning before we got Thane and William alone with us in our room again.

“Will, what are you doing?” I asked.

Will snipped dead leaves off the plant on my nightstand. “There’s not enough light in here for this.”