Page 70 of This Blood That Breaks Us

I wasn’t sure of the last time I’d heard him beg. I was happy to hear his voice. It was stronger than mine.

“Sirius. That’s enough.”

The chaos stopped, and all I heard was my ragged breath and the ringing.

“Are you boys going to behave?” Ezra said.

“Yes,” Zach said, more desperately this time.

“Yes, what?” Sirius said.

There was a long pause, and Zach’s grip on my shoulders tightened.

“Yes, sir, we’ll do whatever you want.”

“No more running.”

“We won’t try to leave again. Just stop.” Zach stared at Ezra. I could only look at him. My brother was solid. Safe. All I had and all I needed. I could stand again if he helped me. I could do a lot of things if he helped me.

“We take them to Her.”

“You’re too soft on them,” Sirius said.

“Their bond is stronger than anything we’ve seen or encountered. It’s got to be excruciating for them. Traumatizing them like this isn’t going to help them to ascend.”

“No, but we kill Legion. We’re here to ensure She’s safe. There has to be consequences.”

“We need them.”

“But do we really need both?” Sirius motioned to Thane.

I buried my head into Zach’s shoulder. I couldn’t look. I couldn’t help. I couldn’t save anyone. I felt like a child. Small, weak, and useless. Why couldn’t I move? Why couldn’t I do anything?

Zach was shaking too, but him stroking the back of my head was my only tether.

“We’ll be okay. I promise. It’s almost over,” he repeated to me over and over.It’s almost over. It’s almost over.

“That’s for Her to decide,” Sirius said.

A foreign feeling fluttered in my chest. Relief. I was going back to Her, but why did that of all things bring me relief?

“So be it.”

Nineteen

Zach

I was so angry I could’ve sworn the water was a deep burgundy. I’d held onto Luke while Will and Thane got tied to the guardrail of a small speed boat. William’s damage was the worst. He’d forced Thane away from him in enough time totake most of Sirius’s wrath. They didn’t give him much to cover his bleeding arm, and his blood was all over my shoes. The wetness of it had seeped into my socks. Connell’s punishment was the loss of two fingers, but everyone was alive. Bloody and traumatized, but alive.

It’s what I’d feared. I hadn’t fully believed, unlike my foolish, hopeful brother. He’d let himself believe we could escape, but I always knew we’d end up right back at Her feet.

The queen’s eyes softened when She saw my brother, as if She cared about his pain. It had to be a show, but for who?

Luke clung to me, with his eyes fixed on the floor. I think his brain had decided to check out, and it left him vacant and shaking.

“I don’t feel like me. I miss who I used to be,” he’d whispered on the way over from the mainland while staring at the same spot on the floor for twenty minutes.

I couldn’t let them keep doing this to him. Over and over, they played their games with my brother’s sanity. Luke’s mental health was worse than he ever let on to anyone in our family. Tack it up there with our many secrets. One minute, he’d be smiling with not a care in the world, then night would come and he’d change. It was like a mask he could put on whenever he was with them, but he never put it on with me.