Page 113 of This Blood That Breaks Us

“Oh.” I wiped my face. “Definitely.”

“You’re killing me right now. Feels like someone took a sledgehammer to my chest.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He plopped down in a chair next to me. “You don’t want me to get your brother? I’m sure it’s only a matter of time till he finds where you’re hiding.”

“No. I’m fine. I’m good. Happy. Ascension is almost here. It’s all good.”

He raised a brow, waiting for me to tell him more.

“I was thinking about Sarah and about how disappointing all of this would be to her. How disappointing I’d be.” I choked out the last words. “I don’t know what I want. I know what everyone wants me to want. But not what I want.”

“You know what you want. Do you really think you’d want to stay here if you had any option? No gun to your head or threats to your friends. You want to go home. Don’t let them confuse ya.”

“You’re right. I want to go home. I don’t want to go to Ascension. But none of it matters. It never matters.”

“I’m going to tell you something, and I’m only telling you because I might be the only one in this world that has any experience in how you feel.”

His words caught my attention. He wasn’t looking at me but at the painting of Athena that hung over the fireplace. “This is only for you. I haven’t told this story to anyone. Not even Thane knows. Kilian is only aware because he was around at the time.”

“Okay.” I waited patiently for him to speak.

“I was married once or, technically, engaged. Her name was Aurora. She was beautiful. I met her very early on in my life, shortly after I was changed by Kilian and joined The Legion. She was levelheaded. Smart. The better half and all that shit.”

A knot gathered in my throat as I listened, understanding this story would not have a happy ending.

“She was fine with what I was, but she wasn’t thrilled with the idea of being immortal. She wanted a family, and I couldn’t give it to her. Plus, she was close with her sisters. They planned their entire lives together, they even wanted to get pregnant at the same time. She would never leave them. I was surprised when she said yes to my proposal, anyway. She said she’d change, but she needed time, and I couldn’t change her myself because my blood is too far removed from the queen, so Kilian offered to change her. But she didn’t like the idea. It only made her put it off more.” William grit his teeth and looked to the floor. “A few months later . . . I killed her by accident. I waited too long to feed. I lost control. She lost too much blood, then she was gone. Back then, it wasn’t as easy to get blood like it is now. I had to tell her sisters. I had to bury her. And when I did, I buried a piece of myself with her, I’ll never get it back.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not telling you so you’ll feel sorry for me. I’m telling ya because I wanted to give up back then. I haven’t forgiven myself, and I never will, but I think you could. If anyone can get past this tragedy, it’s you.”

I remembered Sarah’s last words with a twisting in my gut.“It’s okay.”

In the face of terror, she tried to comfort me.

“Me? Why me? Look at me. Seriously, I’m a wreck.”

“Come talk to me when you’re my age.”

I laughed at the absurdness of that comment. We both knew where we’d be for the next two hundred years. Here. Stuck in this place. But his words lit a spark in my chest that warmed me for the first time in weeks. He hoped, therefore, I did too.

“You really think we can leave this place?”

“I think it’s possible.”

“Do you honestly think The Legion is coming to save us like Thane said?”

“I think . . . if they’re coming, you won’t be the reason they’re here. I don’t think saving you and your brother will be their main priority.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“Where is that fighting spirit and all those pep talks, Calem?” William smiled. “Tell me, what do you want to do when we leave this place?”

“I don’t know.”

“You fuckin’ know. What obnoxious shit would you and your brothers do?”