Page 133 of This Blood That Breaks Us

“You don’t know me.”

“I do! I know you because you’re exactly like me. The only difference is that everyone I love is dead. But everyone you care about is still here and you are going to fuck it up if you don’t snap out of whatever this is. I felt something last night that was the worst the pain from the bond has ever been, and then when I saw this shirt, I knew Luke was involved.”

Will’s eyes were riddled with quiet desperation.

I thought back on my night and if I’d felt even the tiniest flicker of pain, but all I remembered was the feeling of the girl beneath me and the obsession of wanting to do whatever I could to taste her.

“What could have happened? He’s immortal.”

“You and I both know that there are worse things than death. Surely, you can wrap your head around that. Think about your brother. Let it in. Feel what I feel.”

“The bond is gone. It doesn’t work. I don’t feel anything anymore since last night.”

“Like hell it doesn’t. Focus. Focus on your brother. Not Her.”

He pushed his hand into my chest hard, and I let him. There was nothing. No feeling anywhere in my body other than annoyance of Will pestering me.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Shut up and focus. Do it for Luke.”

I sighed and focused harder as he pressed his palm into my chest till it hurt and I could fight past the numbness. Will’s hand was calloused and cold through the linen of my shirt. I thought of my brother. Of where he was. Of how he felt.

The feeling started to come back. That terrible feeling of being bonded. A pain hit me so sharp in the chest I keeled over. I’d felt it before, but it was never that painful. So penetratingly horrible I felt it in the back of my skull. My eyes stung and my stomach turned. I was going to be sick.

“Oh fuck. What is that?”

“That’s tame compared to what it was last night. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest.”

Whatever fog I was under before dissipated, and all that was left was my brother’s pain. Something had happened while I was gone. Something bad.

“She lied about the bond. The only thing Ascension changed is you got more blood and they got you both exactly where they wanted you.”

“Why? I don’t get it.”

“Use your head, Calem. If She knows all your most possible futures, She knows the people She needs you to be to serve Her.They’re going to do anything and say anything to get you on their side.”

It was a fact I already knew, but I’d somehow let myself forget.

“The bond is . . . ”

“Something She uses to control you. You can’t trust anything they’ve told you about how this stuff works. Always assume it’s bullshit.”

The nausea grew as the reality set in. Luke needed me, and I’d left him alone at the bar. What was I thinking? The Family knew . . . they knew what I’d do. They used their opportunity to get to my brother.

“It’s happening again. I wasn’t there to protect him and—”

“Feel sorry for yourself later. You have to go to him. He’s with Her.”

“Shit!”

I went for the door and ignored everyone on the way to Her chamber. Including Connell who’d been waiting for me outside the door. They made desperate attempts to bow to me. I stopped before opening Her door. What would I find? I hoped I’d at least see my brother fully clothed.

When I pushed open the queen’s door, I sighed in relief. Luke was clothed but sleeping seemingly peacefully as She pulled Her hands through his hair. Jealousy hit me first. A blow I wasn’t expecting.Her blood was mixed with mine. It wasn’t my reaction. Just the way She wanted me to feel.

I didn’t bow, and barreled toward them until I was standing over them.

“What did you do?”