Page 78 of This Blood That Breaks Us

“You don’t need my permission.”

“I know that. But I don’t like doing anything behind your back.”

“You want my blessing.”

“Kinda.”

I didn’t see how it could do anything but spell more trouble for me, but I knew the only time my chest didn’t hurt was in the morning during that walk. It could help. Or maybe I was desperate to get Luke relief. I felt guilty for not telling him about Cecily, especially when he was always honest with me, but we’d be worse off than we were now. I wanted him to accept this place because it was killing him not to.

He was right, more time with Her could help him get acclimated.

“Will you promise to tell me if She tries anything weird or offers you Her blood?”

“You don’t need to lecture me on that. I already got the full earful from Ezra.”

“Good.” We didn’t need a replay of the last time we drank. That night when we both gave in. Even after we knew what She did to Sarah, we chose Her.

If Luke drank Her blood again, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stay away from Her either.

“I promise. I’ll stay away.”

“It’s not that simple, and you know that. It’s not exactly a choosing thing.”

There was no way to consent. Not when being near Her made me want Her. To touch Her. Love Her. Worship Her. I knew all of that, but it didn’t stop me from feeling guilty for all the times I’d given in. Luke never talked about it, but he knew that exact feeling.

We’d both betrayed Sarah that day.

We’d been in Her room. Donating. We weren’t required to do that anymore, but it reminded me of the high I used to chase in high school. I used to buy Xanax off a friend in class before Luke made me stop. It caused our only physical fight Luke and I hadever had. I’d hit him first for taking the pills from my locker, and he was right to kick my ass for it.

Her blood was a hundred times better.

I tried not to think about it. Her lips on my skin. Being needed by Her, and the feeling of my body growing weaker as She took everything from me. It was so freeing to let go and be Hers. That’s why we gave in. I reminded myself like I’d reminded Luke many times. It wasn’t fair. There wasn’t an even playing field. Luke had grabbed Her first, and I couldn’t stop myself from biting Her.

It was the happiest I’d ever felt in my life, but I told no one else that.

“I know, but I’ll be careful.”

“No blood exchanges?”

“Promise.”

“Fine. If it helps.” I wrapped an arm over his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go walk the pond you like and get a beer at The Underground.”

I resolved to abandon my waiting students. My brother needed me more.

Twenty-Two

Zach

I hated that fucking five-year plan. It made sense for Luke to lecture Presley and Aaron on it constantly when we never had one. Not before we changed and certainly not after. I was staringat my five-year plan, and it looked a lot like bossing around and terrorizing a bunch of grown ass men. So it could have been worse.

I’d turned in for the day. As my bedroom door closed behind me, I spotted Will sitting by our fireplace. Luke must have dropped him off on his way to do something. Ezra and Sirius requested that Thane and Will be locked up more. They couldn’t kill them, but they didn’t like seeing them around either. For two whole weeks after the escape, they locked them in their room, and in those two weeks, we didn’t get to see them.

Thane emerged unscathed and oddly hopeful, but Will . . .

“There you are. Did you see Her today?”

“No, Will.”