Page 82 of This Blood That Breaks Us

My heart fluttered. “So, tonight I can stay with you? We can keep walking. There are places in the castle I haven’t seen yet. I wanna see the places you and your brother used to play.”

“I’ll show you. Let’s walk all night. I’m all yours. I know things are difficult for you now, but after Ascension, things will change for you.”

“They will?”

“Yes, it’s coming. Sooner than you think. You’re almost ready, My Love. The dark sun will be upon us in two weeks, and on that night, we will be bound.”

“What’s it like?”

I tried not to think of Ascension. There was a lot of talk about it. I guess getting to see Zach and I ascend and usher in a new Guard was exciting business for everyone, but no one ever mentioned what it was or what it would entail. I could imagine nothing more terrible than what I’d already experienced.

“It’s peaceful. In many ways, it’s like a marriage. You’re committing yourself to me and The Divine Path. There is a ceremony and celebrations.”

My chest tightened at the thought. It sounded fun, but would I feel that way or ruin it?

“Don’t worry. I’ve seen you very happy there.”

“Can you . . . check again? To make sure?”

“You would let me into your head to check your future?” Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight. “Hasn’t your brother warned you about letting me in?”

“Yeah. But I’ve been doing that, and it’s not working. I don’t want to worry about Ascension. I don’t want to wonder if it’s something I can mess up.”

“Come,” She said as She grabbed my wrist and brought me to sit on a stone bench carved with two cherubs on either side.

I held out my hand to Her, and She threaded Her fingers in mine. I was used to crashing into Her like this now. The feeling of Her skin filling me up. It was fleeting, yet every time, I hoped it could last another moment longer. She closed Her eyes, and I waited in silence for Her to search the stars for my future. I hoped She’d see me devoted. Happier. That Luke could do this. He could be whatever She needed. I wasn’t him yet, but I could be. Iwantedto be.

When She opened Her eyes again, a smile curled Her lips.

“You’re everything I’ve waited for, My Love.”

I stilled as She leaned in and placed Her lips softly to my cheek.

“You have nothing to worry about. After Ascension, you’ll know exactly who you’re meant to be.”

I didn’t think I’d ever be excited to enter The Guard, but it was a comfort to think it would help. We continued our walk in the moonlight, and I felt stronger than I had in months. I could protect Her from the threat of night. I would be the person everyone needed me to be. I’d been praying, and it was finally working.

Something shifted in the night air.

Her scent. Her gravity. It all vanished. The queen blinked and melted into my arms like a ragdoll.

“Are you okay?”

The same feeling washed over as before. I was holding Her, but it was different. It was easier, with no gravity breaking my ribs at Her touch. “Luke,” She said, and two pools of emerald stared back at me.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

When She heard my voice, tears fell from Her eyes, and I realized I’d never seen Her cry. The woman in front of me was weeping and pulling at my shirt. She pulled away to look at Her hands and shied away from the light as if it were hurting Her eyes.

“I feel strange. This doesn’t feel right. This place . . . ” She looked around the room. “It can’t be real. This is not real.”

Her hands shook, and I grabbed them to still Her.

“Everything is okay. You’re safe. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

“I can’t stay. I want to stay.” She fell into a soft sob.

I wiped the tears from Her cheeks.