Page 36 of Ruthless Chaos

I freeze mid-gulp.

“Are those bruises from the initiation?” Her fingers are on my chin, and she twists my head to get a better look.

Swallowing, I lick my lips. “No. It’s nothing, though.”

The moment the words are out of my mouth, I realize I should have just said yes. It would be more believable. She will not let this go.

She’s silent for a few moments, then exclaims, “You got fucked! On your first night?”

My cheeks heat. I try to distract myself with the rest of my milkshake, but the incredulous look on Tara’s face is hard to ignore.

Her eyes bounce from the marks on my neck to my face repeatedly. I can practically see the wheels turning in her head, spinning some vulgar story, no doubt.

“It’s not what you think Tara, I—”

She cuts me off. “No, let’s not talk about it here. Tell me on the drive into the city.” She grins, balling her fists and squealing. “I just know it’s going to be good.”

I want to tell her it’s not as exciting as she thinks, but I keep my mouth shut. Maybe there’s a chance she’ll forget about the whole thing and I won’t have to talk about it all.

* * *

I was wrong.

We’ve barely pulled off campus when she resumes the conversation.

“Now, about those bruises,” she says, momentarily taking her eyes off the road to smile at me. “I’m all ears.”

I stare at the trees rushing past us as she guides the black SUV down the narrow, winding road. It’s high-end, with chrome finishes and tufted brown leather seats.

We took it from the teacher’s parking lot.

Though I wasn’t there for the conversation, Tara said she asked one of her professors and he was kind enough to lend us for our trip into town. A soft rock song wafts from the speakers embedded in the doors.

“It’s really not as interesting as you make it seem,” I say, propping my elbow on the armrest by the window. “We didn’t…do anything.”

Tara swerves to avoid a pothole. “Your neck is telling a different story.” She giggles. “I mean, I guess it’s fine if you don’t want to give me all the details. At least tell me, was it a guy or girl?”

My face heats up a little. It’s a compliment if she thinks a girl could be interested in me.

“A guy.”

Tara’s eyes widen, like she’s surprised. “Tell me about him,” she presses.

Her words bring me back to the lake.

Now that I’m not smack in the middle of it, I realize that our encounter probably lasted twenty minutes. It felt like hours, and every second of it is branded into my mind.

Time hasn’t made my feelings about what happened any less conflicting.

I think I hate him.

I’d much rather not tell Tara about this, but she can help me figure out one thing.

“I don’t know his name, actually.”

Tara squeals in delight. “You keep surprising me, Allie!” Her grin is huge. “Tell me about him. What is he like?”

“He’s tall, really tall.” Anxiety thrums in my chest. “It was dark, but I think he has blonde hair and light eyes.” I skim my memory for more identifying features. “Tattoos on his arms and neck.”