Page 120 of Ruthless Chaos

The crushing weight of life is lighter now that he is here to shoulder it with me. Does confiding in someone always feel like this? I’ve never had anyone I could be completely honest with—even Dolores, I had to lie to keep her safe.

Until now, I suppose.

Leaning back in the bed, I try to find a comfortable spot.

Alexander slips his watch off his wrist and places it on the nightstand. Next, he pulls a gun out of his waistband—it’s silver and glimmers in the dull light. My breath catches.

He gives me a curious look.

“No, I don’t plan to use it on you.” His lips twist into a sharkish grin. “Unless you’re into that kind of thing.”

It never occurred to me that people might have guns on campus.

How many other things don’t I know?

“Why did you bring that?”

Alexander’s shadowy gaze sets my skin aflame. He smirks, cracking his knuckles before settling into the bed beside me. The mattress sinks under his weight.

“To enforce the boundaries I’ve set,” he says. “I don’t want anyone to get them confused.”

I think of what he did to Liam—for me.

I owe Alexander so much. He’s done a lot for me, but why?

I don’t have the answer.

He shifts in the bed beside me. My body tenses, awareness bleeding back into my world. Alexander is lyingreallyclose to me, and we’re all alone.

There’s nowhere else I would rather be.

Gosh, what the hell am I thinking?

He’s watching me, blue eyes aflame. “Are you scared, sweetheart?” His breath splays over my cheeks.

I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing myself to take a deep breath.

The soft mist of relief is gone, replaced with a strange, fiery burning in my belly. Yes, I’m scared, but not in the same way as earlier.

This time, it feels a little like excitement, too. I’ve felt it before—that night by the lake, that afternoon in the classroom, that morning in his bed.

Alexander puts a hand on my thigh. I gulp a breath.

I’m still wearing his coat. Should I tighten it around me, or get rid of it altogether?

His touch is searing. I want…

I want to feel that touch everywhere.

My thoughts are floating through my brain in fractured commands.

Keep breathing.

Don’t get overwhelmed.

Stay calm.

He snakes a hand around my waist. Then, his soft lips are on my neck. It’s exactly what I want—more of him.