Page 118 of Ruthless Chaos

The second time around, when I try to think of the water, I realize it’s freezing. My sip goes down better, though it’s slow.

The coldness is overbearing.

After my second sip, I realize how thirsty I am. I drink until it dries up.

When he takes the bottle from my lips, the darkness has stopped enveloping me.

A lamp sitting on the nightstand coats the room in a warm glow. He throws the bottle away, then he’s back at my side.

His movements are cagey, his brow knitted. There’s an edge to him as he worries the corner of his mouth, his eyes searching my face.

Alexander rubs soothing circles into my back and leads me through a set of breathing exercises. I’ve never been able to get them to work for me, but I do as he asks.

He holds my hand in his big one, taking deep breaths with me.

I lose track of how many we do.

By the end of them, my chest isn’t as heavy. The sharp edge of dread is gone—only the bone-deep ache of sadness remains.

“You’re safe now, sweetheart,” he says, pressing a kiss to the side of my temple. It’s chaste and gentle. “I have you. Nobody is going to hurt you.”

Oh, how wrong he is.

This is just one time, one part of the bigger, insidious problem.

“I’m not safe,” I whisper. Fresh tears spring from my eyes. “I’ll never be safe.”

Alexander clicks his tongue in frustration, holding my face in his hands. He brings his nose to mine. “Don’t say that, Allie. I meant it when I said that I’ll always protect you. I will make sure nobody even looks at you in the wrong way, ever again.”

Staring into his ocean blue eyes, my lips tremble.

I see his resolve in them. And I would believe him. Despite our rocky start, Alexander has always shown up when I needed him the most.

But this is bigger than just us.

“You don’t understand, Alex.” Trepidation twists my tongue, but I find I have no fear about telling him.

Out of everyone on this campus, Alexander has the least to gain from ratting me out—he’s already at the apex of this ruthless society, so the Treaty’s rewards are not a temptation.

And on the off chance that he kills me right here,right now, he would do me a favor.

“I’m not who you think I am.”

Alexander stiffens, his brow furrowing.

“What do you mean?” he asks. His grip on my face is still gentle. We’re still sharing the same breath, but that can change in a moment.

My throat grows thick. “I…”

His fingers dig into my skin. “What’s wrong, Allie?” There’s…somethingin his voice, but I can’t tell if it’s anger yet.

“I lied to get in here,” I whisper. I’m weightless, watching myself from a distance. “I faked my identity because I’m being hunted. My name isn’t Allie, it’s Alize.” I swallow. “Alize Moreau.”

Alexander doesn’t react.

He just stares at me blankly with tight eyes and a firm jaw. Is he thinking of different ways to kill me? I hope whatever he comes up with is quick. Panic bubbles in my throat, and my breathing grows shallow.

The silence is deafening.