Page 140 of Ruthless Chaos

Then, I remember something.

“Did you tell Cassidy that I’m a virgin?”

Tara looks up at me, alarm in her eyes. She shakes her head. “No. Why would I? I don’t talk to her unless I have to.”

I stare at Tara for a long second, weighing her words. Though she’s hidden things from me before, I just can’t think she’s lying about this.

But if she did, then the only other person to know was Alexander.

He wouldn’t though.

He hates Cassidy. There’s no way he would do that.

“Why do you ask?” Tara says. “Did something happen?”

I blink quickly. “Oh, no. She just made a snarky comment about it, and I was wondering how she knew.”

Tara scoffs. “Thatputahas eyes and ears everywhere.”

I don’t doubt that she does.

Alexander doesn’t have to be the one who told her.

I push the thought away, ignoring the uneasiness in my stomach.

“What’s going on with you?” I say, draining the contents of my glass. “How are things with Glock?”

She shrugs, focusing intently on her near empty plate. “What’s there to tell?”

“I thought you said things were goo—”

She cuts me off. “A lot has been going on,” she says, and the dejected look is back. “Glock ghosted me a few days ago and last night I…” She squeezes her eyes shut like she’s in pain. “Last night I hooked up with my ex.”

I almost choke on my food. “Your ex? You mean…” I lower my voice, looking around to ensure nobody is paying attention to our conversation. “Professor Holmes?”

Tara hangs her head. “Yes,” she says softly. “All it took was one touch, and I fucking melted into him.” Her voice is tinged with frustration. “I thought maybe it was a sign that we were getting back together.”

“It’s not?” I ask, incredulous.

I do not know how this sort of thing works, but I understand Tara’s confusion. If my ex had sex with me after we broke up, that would seem like a reconciliation to me too.

She shakes her head. “No. When I woke up, he was gone.” Tara blinks quickly, and I know she’s close to tears. “He left me a note written on goddamn parchment paper this morning. Who even has the fucking time to do that, that early in the morning?” She sucks in a breath, and her shoulders shake. “He said that what happened was a mistake.”

I reach out and take her hand. “That’s absolutely horrible, T.”

“It made me realize I can’t think of anyone else the way I think of him.” She rests her forehead on the heel of her palm. “I’m stuck in a loop of wanting him and hating him.”

“I’m so sorry that this is happening to you,” I say, as there’s nothing else I can think of. “I don’t even know what to tell you. Have you told him how you feel?”

“Yes, but he tells me that his hands are tied,” she says. “Which I don’t believe. He’s the smartest person I know. His hands are never tied.”

“I think you have to at least get him to tell you, somehow,” I say. “It’s the only way you can get closure. Even if it means being a little crazy.”

My words surprise me, but I realize I mean them.

It’s unfair of him to withhold information like that from Tara, especially if they’ve been in a committed relationship all that time. She deserves to know why it ended.

Tara considers my words, staring off into space. She moves a lock of hair behind her ear, a small smile appearing on her lips. “You’re right, Allie.”